Can Your Relationship Survive An Abortion?

Love And Romance

oi-Anwesha

By Anwesha Barari

Monday, October 10, 2011, 15:58

A relationship after an abortion goes through many changes. Some are able to cope with these changes and come out stronger while others crumble under the pressure and split. What happens to your relationship after an unwanted pregnancy is seriously speaking in your hands. The way you counsel yourself and your partner will determine if you will stay together and heal or move your own ways with a scar from this accident.

To deal with changes in relationship after abortion try to use these relationship tips.

Tips To Deal With Problems In Relationship Post Abortion:

• An unplanned pregnancy in a relationship comes as a huge shock. Most often people are not prepared for it mentally and also, financially. Usually the guy becomes the scrape goat in the later case. Since men are supposed to be the Providers they are blamed for their lack of resources.

• The best thing to do in such situation is to digest this unspoken allegation for a while and talk about it later. If you try to discuss this immediately after the termination of the unwanted pregnancy, your girlfriend or wife's bruised ego will not accept it.

• A woman's maternal instincts often start kicking as soon as she realises that she is pregnant. So from the female perspective abortion in a relationship is associated with 'loss' and even 'murder'. For the man it is just a normal medical procedure. They don't think of the foetus in terms of its future as a baby. The conflict begins from this difference of perspective.

• Never ever refer to the unwanted pregnancy as a 'problem'. Men tend to think of this situation with cold logic. An unplanned pregnancy in relationship is a shift from normal routine life and thus a problem that has to be dealt with. But for the woman who is directly in contact with the child, it is a 'life' and it belongs to her.

• Women often feel victimised due this use of cold logic that according to them amounts to insensitivity. She feels that her guy is not concerned about her feeling and treats her body like a machine. She may be prone to mood swings and depression. In her anxiety she will blame her partner, often unjustly.

• The guy on the other hand feels helpless and totally lacks a clue as to why she is behaving the way she is. He again tries to justify by logic that the unwanted pregnancy was not the right decision in the first place, so why the blame.

• Instead of cocooning yourselves in your own personal chambers of misconceptions and miss-communication, it is always better to treat abortion as an painful experience you both have gone through together. The man should give some leverage for the woman's feelings and the woman should appreciate the logical element of the decision.

Relationships after abortion can grow stronger if you deal with your personal emotional baggage properly.