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The Fear Of Fatherhood

By Super

Father and child
As a child you are dependent on your parents, as you grow up, you fall in love. Eventually you date her and then marry her. Ideally, marriage is followed by planning a family and having kids. But at this stage, are you ready to take up a responsibility as big as this?

Women have natural instincts of affection and motherhood. After a year of marriage, most women want to have a baby. However, this is not the case with men. Men often fear the thought of fatherhood. What is it that holds back men from having a baby?

Every man dreams of an well established career and financial stability. Having a baby can divert their focus and the priorities may change. A man fears that raising a child may come in the way of his career growth, which most of the men are not ready to compromise with.

Bringing a child into this world and then raising him or her costs not only a fortune, but demands a lot of time, energy and sacrifices. Men can never be prepared of all these. Most of them are not financially prepared to take up this challenge.

It is said that a man who inherits all luxuries from parents doesn't value them. All egoistic men want to prove his worth by making a house for himself, buying a car and other luxury items. This gives them a sense of pride and achievement. It is only after ticking all the points in his checklist, he is ready to welcome a new member in the family.

Gone are the days when in Indian households, newly married couples were expected to have a baby within one year of marriage. The pressure of family and society was much more than what it is today. Today, both the husband and the wife are educated and are career oriented. The trends have changed. Mostly couples plan for a family only if they are professionally satisfied and financially sound.

Married men without kids are tagged as a "married bachelor." Married bachelors can enjoy their life and freedom just like any other bachelor. They see a best friend in their wife and both enjoy their life without having to worry for responsibilities. Very few men want to share this freedom and relationship with anybody else. A thought of a child comes only when he really feels the need of it.

Before planning a family, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Am I financially prepared to raise a child?
  • Am I professionally well settled?
  • Am I having children to keep up with my neighbours?
  • Am I ready to become Mr. Responsible?
  • Am I going to be a good father and cater to every need of the baby, right from birth till he/she grows up?
  • Am I mentally prepared for fatherhood?

If you find a positive answer for all your queries, maybe it is the right time for you to plan a family. Have a baby only if you are mentally prepared for it. Only then can you enjoy each and every moment of fatherhood.

Story first published: Wednesday, May 2, 2012, 11:22 [IST]