Can ex-lovers be just friends?

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Love is like a whirlpool that charms us to its depth. That is why we call it falling in love, since we don't force ourselves to fall in love. We all have wonderful memories of love that may have survived the test of time or stumbled leaving behind painful trails.

You may have considered your love a failure and almost hated your ex-lover for it. The compassion and affection you felt for your ex-lover will lay dormant in your heart for sometime, ready to rekindle at any moment. When the pain of a love failure is healed in time, you may want to get back as friends and might be surprised to find that he/she also feels alike.

There is cooling period before the restitution of the friendship between ex-lovers. The beginning of friendship between ex-lovers depends on the level of friendship that was established in the relationship. For ex-lovers to engage in a platonic relationship, their initial interaction and maturity levels need to be taken into consideration. If the ex-lovers can establish good and open communication among themselves, the resentment and emotional pain in the love failure can be replaced by a good platonic union. It can be extremely helpful for the two of you to clearly define together your relationship and what you want and expect from the other. The ex-lovers' friendship must be based on emotional aspects rather than on romantic and sexual interests.

Once the friendship between the ex-lovers has been restored, replace the earlier used 'we' and 'us' to 'me' and I. Learn to respect each other's privacy and do not pry into the other's personal life. Refrain from gossip or blame over the falied relationship. Don't queston your ex-lover about gossips you have heard. Your unneccessary remarks may indicate your eagerness to blame your ex-lover and might end your rekindled friendship soon.

Accept the truth that your revived friendship will always remain as friendship only. You must be honest in your friendship and encourage your ex-lover to be honest with you. Be ready to accept your ex-lover's new love relationship with another person. This will help you grow. Do not hide your revived friendship when you enter a new relationship. Do not hide any fact of your past, for its better your sweetheart learns it from than from a stranger. Love is all about accepting you as you are. If your sweetheart cannot accept your past, he/she can never accept you whole heartedly and we all know what happens to such relationships.

Since you have called it quits, let it go. Both of you understand why it had to end. Sometimes it is hard for one person to stay in the relation and it is hard for the other to let go. But you have to understand that when one is not happy in the relationship, the whole purpose of that relation is lost. One wants out, not because you are bad, but only because both of you are a mix-match. Let go and wish good for the other, this will save you of a lot of pain in future.

Both of you have a wonderful life ahead. There are many more fish in the pond, ain't there?