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Valentine's Day 2023: Are We Forging Relationships Under Pressure, Saying Things About Love That Aren't True?

Valentines Day 2023

Pink and red colours everywhere, heart-shaped chocolates and balloons, romantic text messages, and flowers! Like it or not, these signs scream that Valentine's Day is here!

While for some it is a pleasant memory, for others it can be a painful reminder of love. Be it getting deeply involved in a romantic relationship or making deep friendships, everyone becomes super focused on how to display their emotions and feelings on this day.

From gifting the most expensive jewellery pieces, booking a table at the fanciest restaurant to getting an exotic flower bouquet and going for a luxury staycation; we do everything to make sure that we express love in the most skewed way possible. And all this is due to commercially imposed cultural pressure.

Are we paying the cost of love then? Is really that much love in the air? If you beg to differ, then here's what a survey has pointed out!

According to a survey done on 2000 participants by CashKaro.com, a cashback and coupon website, it was found that for an average Indian couple (between the ages of 16-24 years), the cost of Valentine's gift can vary between Rs 15000 to Rs 30000, whereas, youngsters are more likely to spend on their girlfriends or boyfriends. Further, the same survey also states that 78% of the total respondents like to wait for online sales to buy gifts and only 19% shop offline.

Also, another study in 2020 by Plenty of Fish, which was done on singles revealed that 51 percent felt pressure to be romantic, 43 percent to be in a relationship, 42 percent to go on a date, and 41 percent to act like the holiday is meaningful. In addition, 43 percent of respondents thought it was the most pressure-filled holiday and one-in-five wished that it could be cancelled altogether, mentions Psychology Today website.

This says, probably, the much-hyped celebratory day is forced on us and being marketed as a day to enhance romantic relationships when in reality it just sends your relationship towards a downward trajectory and makes it becomes worse.

Do you face pressure to impress your partner on Valentine's Day? Are you honest with your partner when it comes to expressing emotions or even yourself?

A popular study in 2004, done by Katherine A. Morse and Steven L. Neuberg on the effects of Valentine's Day on dating relationships finds that weaker or unstable romantic relationships were more prone to breakups during the 2 weeks surrounding Valentine's Day than any other time of the year.

There is nothing wrong in celebrating love, and relationships but what you want to share with your romantic partner, spouse or loved ones should be based on honest conversations. This will also help you get a realistic view of relationships. Here are some tips that can help you to do that.

1. Check Your Feelings

Doesn't matter what day it is, you need to check your feelings and assess your emotions. Valentine's Day doesn't mean that despite having a myriad of problems, you have to sweep everything under the rug and celebrate the day and get validation from society that everything is perfect in your relationship. Focus on the present and discuss with your partner how you feel today and do not make assumptions about the future or try to draw a parallel between the past, present and future. Tackling one problem at a time is easy than solving a pile of issues at one go.

2. Go For Honest Appreciation Only

Do not build castles in the air just because the world is celebrating love on Valentine's Day. Appreciate your partner or show affection only when it comes from your heart and let your relationship grow organically. Be it giving gifts or flooding them with compliments, everything will go in vain if your bonding with your partner is weak. If there is something that you do not like about your partner, then talk to them and reach a conclusion. Sugarcoating everything will make your relationship go sour in no time.

3. Focus On Realistic Goals

There are no issues in dreaming big but refrain from saying things that are either not true or possible in reality. If you want to spend your life with someone you love, make sure you convey to them the pros and cons and how you are willing to compromise or cooperate to achieve that dream or build a future together. But, hiding the cons, and showing your partner a fairytale image that will never come true is cruel and ruin your relationship.

4. Check Your Intention While Giving Gifts

Gifting is good for those who are better with their gestures than words. But, what you need to understand is that while giving gifts to a special person what is the thought? Are you giving it because everyone else is to display their love publicly, or do you really want to show them how much they mean to you? Having clarity about your thoughts will not only make the bonding with your partner stronger but will also bring you closer to each other.

5. Choose Your Words Wisely

You cannot take the words back once you say them so it is advisable not to use words that are extreme and can complicate things in your romantic relationship. Using words like forever, always, never, eternal' is not sustainable. To err is human and whenever that happens, that will validate the fact that no partnership is problem free. Not only having honest communication will help you, but it will also be beneficial for the person you are sharing your life with.

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