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Families are what we call our social support system- be it mothers, fathers or siblings. Having a family is wonderful because it means that we belong somewhere or to someone. We all can agree on one thing to love and to be loved is the best feeling. While they help us celebrate beautiful moments, they stand by us during our lows.
However, while staying with your family members, difficulties can come in many forms and you may not be able to figure out the solutions to deal with them effectively. It can be a jealous sibling, an anxious mom, or a strict dad, which can create an atmosphere of tension in the house. Also, you may get anxiety while planning a holiday trip with your family members or become hesitant while reaching out to them even in dire situations. This can make coexisting with them under the same roof quite challenging.
If there is no constructive dialogue exchange, the situation can spin out of control and from that hatred, resentment and toxic patterns can develop. This can tear the relationships apart and can become a constant source of stress, anxiety and frustration for you.
We have curated nine important measures that psychologists vouch for when it comes to dealing with difficult family members and turbulent relationships.
1. Timing Is Everything
If you want to have an interaction that is effective and productive, then do not do it while someone is angry or upset. If you are planning to make a huge decision then understand if they are emotionally upset or angry or exhausted. If you too had a bad day, then postpone the interaction or plan it for another day.
2. Acceptance Is The Key
Accepting a person doesn't mean that one has to deal with all the issues that they bring with themselves and then get away with them as well. It simply means to understand the perspective of another person even if it is different from yours. Invest your energy to create a positive atmosphere instead of spending it on conflicts and arguments.
3. Communication Can Break The Ice
Even though we are always surrounded by family members at home, it can still create problems if communication is not done properly. Do not assume that people around you will know what is going on with you just because they live with you and the same applies to them.
4. Focus On One Thing At A Time
It is possible that there are multiple problems in your family and it can get difficult to wrap your mind around one thing. Talking constantly can even make a situation worse instead of fixing it. This can result in the recurrence of the same conflict again and again. Therefore, it is best to take a step back and focus on one thing that we may think is somewhat in our control.
5. Never Play Games
The blame game is toxic and therefore, communication tricks will never work if you are planning to resolve a dispute. Not just talking about past, you may also drag the members present around you in the argument with a particular person in the family. This can create further problems in your relationship. Instead, speak to that person directly and work on the solutions instead of focusing on the issues.
6. Know When To Be Transparent
Sharing general thoughts and opinions can be good, but if you know that conveying specific info or telling them about a particular event can create a problem then hold it for some time. Sharing everything in detail may not always help you and it can be perceived negatively, especially when the other family member is not emotionally well.
7. Setting Boundaries
Before adding boundaries, you need to make it clear to the person you have issues with. This has to be done when the situation is calm and the people you are dealing with are relaxed. Even if this looks terrifying, it is best to mark your limits in order to bring stability to relationships.
8. Be A Good Listener
Even though you can always assume what your family member is going to say, be calm and listen to them carefully, like you are listening to their stories for the first time. Refrain from practicing 'selective listening' which can create serious damage to relationships. Not listening to someone properly, sends a message that they are not worthwhile and we are better than them, this can create friction and result in conflicts.
9. Beginning With Mindfulness
Be aware of where you are and what you are doing. This comes in handy when you are trapped in a situation that is not so favourable. You can respond to situations instead of reacting to them, and this will make all the difference. Therefore, do not get overwhelmed by what is happening around you, and things will slowly start to fall into place.
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