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The Different Kinds Of Emotionally Immature Men

By Subodini Menon

Theoretically, your man is the epitome of the perfect one. He is handsome, educated and doing well at his work front. He has all the qualities that would make your parents swoon at the mention of marriage with him. But then, there is the fact that you feel he is a little emotionally immature.

An emotionally well-developed person would have the ability to control his or her emotion. He is ready to accept his mistake and take responsibility of the consequences. An adult life riddles with many emotions that are not very pleasant at all.

When faced with the same circumstances, a mature individual will accept what went wrong and deal with it and an immature person will go ahead and blame everyone but himself for the situation.

When in a relationship with an immature person, you will face a lot of difficulties. This is because they do not see the world like normal people do and they do not deal with the emotions they feel normally.

If you are in love with an emotionally stunted person, be prepared to be patient and forgiving.

Here are the signs of an emotionally immature person

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Someone Else Is Always Responsible

Emotionally stunted people tend to do a lot of finger pointing. Everything that goes wrong in their life is caused by someone else. You can just not talk to them into seeing the other person's view point. They are always right and if you tell them otherwise, you will be considered the wrong one.

They Are Blind To The Wrongs That Are Done By Them But Cannot Take Something Wrong That Happens To Them

If you do something wrong, you must be prepared to bear anything they do to you. This includes abusive words, rudeness and moodiness. But if you dish out the same behavior to them, they will retaliate. They expect you to accept them the way they are but refuse to do the same to you.

They Always Play The Victim

Their stories always involve them being the victim. The story will have no two sides. They are always the one who suffers and the other side always goes out of their way to trouble them. They always go for partners who will side with them, no matter what. They will also look for drama and create it where there is none. This is because the drama will help them show people what big victims they are.

They Have Very Short-lived Relationships

An emotionally lacking person will find it hard to maintain a relationship. This applies not just to romantic relationships but also to relationship with friends and family. Even the slightest problem will be blown out of proportion. This will make enemies of fast friends and people tend to stay away from such emotionally stunted individuals.

Now, you can have a look at the different types of emotionally immature men, below.

The “Feeling” Lover

An emotionally immature man can be sorted into the ‘feeling lover' category when all he is looking for is the ‘feeling'. It is a kind of high one received with a new relationship. When it wears off with time, the same relationship becomes unbearable to him. He then moves on as fast as he can.

The One Who Looks For His Mom

Such a guy will always look for his mom in his partner. He either hates what his mom did to him or adores her deeply. Either way, he is obsessed with her and can't see that he is looking for a shadow of his mother where he shouldn't.

The Lost One

He is just unhappy with the way his life is and doesn't have much control over where it is going next. He will look for a woman to whom he can whine and complain about his work or life all the time. And in return, he will want her to give him the kind of respect and adoration that he doesn't receive from the other aspects of his life.

The Insecure Self-loving One

This person seems confident and pulled together from the exteriors. He believes he is the best at whatever he does and that he is a catch for anyone who is in a relationship with him. But inside, he is very insecure. He cannot take a joke at his flaws or mistakes. He will never want anyone, even his partner, to do better than him at anything. He will always go for women who have insecurities of her own and will use it to make himself feel superior. He loves a woman who will never question his authority and capability even as a joke.

The One Who Is Obsessed With His Career

This guy will have only one goal in his life - to reach the top and till he does reach that position, he will not be available to his partner emotionally. He will look for a partner who knows how important it is for him to succeed but will never have such a success for herself.

The One Who Wants To Be The Hero

This man will go out of his way to find a woman who is damaged. He will help her pull herself together and will be there for her while she deals with her issues. But as soon as he feels that she has attained normalcy, he loses interest and will be out looking for the next damaged woman he can save.

The One Who Has A Tragic Past

This man may truly have had a tragic past but he simply refuses to come out of it. He will want a woman to come to him and try and heal him. But all of it will be a wasted exercise. He will refuse to come out of his tragedy. The woman who chooses to love and save him will exhaust herself with no avail.

The Hardened One Who Is Scared Of Commitment

This guy will seem to be happy being the unattached singleton but in reality, he does crave for love and affection. He is scared of letting his true self show. He will choose women who are looking for casual relationships and will never take it to the next level.

The Broken Hearted One

This person loved a woman with all his heart and soul and ended up being jilted by her. No matter how much time passes, he cannot get over the past relationship and will hold it against every woman he has a relationship with. He will go out of his way and search for women who will wrong him too, so that he can vent his stored up anger on her.

The One Who Has Nothing Good Going On For Him, Ever

This man broods, whines, sulks and complains. Everything in his life has been, is and will be a tragedy. He somehow will manage to put a negative twist to even the happiest thing that ever happened to him. He will look for women who will be his personal cheerleader, the Pooh to his Eyore, someone who is always trying to get him to see all the sunshine in his life.

How To Deal With Emotionally Lacking Men Like Adults

It can be hard to be in a relationship with a man who falls into any of the above categories of emotionally stunted men. If you love him so much that you want to be around him inspite of all his flaws, use the tips below to make your life a little more easier.

Do Your Own Thing

Being independent and not needing him for everything will show him how to deal with things. He will learn by example and may even turn his behaviour around.

Do Not Mom Him

Do not be his mom or caretaker. Let him deal with his own responsibilities. When a problem arises due to his own deeds, do not rush forward to clean the mess up, let him learn how to be accountable.

Do Not Make Excuses For Him

If you know his problems, make it known. You should not do a cover-up or explain his behaviour or deeds. If you do this now, it could lead to long-term problems which you will have to deal with too.

If You Want To Change His Behaviour, Do Not Expect Him To Do So All Together

His behaviour is a result of deep-seated insecurities and years of accreditation. It will not go away overnight. If you try to make him change in such a dramatic way, he will get defensive and it will cost you your relationship. Small baby steps are the way to go.

Accept The Reasons You Have For Being With An Emotionally Stunted Man

Surely, you have problems of your own if you want to be with this person. If you are with this person for intimacy or just for fun, admit it to yourself first. If you have issues of your own, talk to someone and treat someone. Remember that you cannot change or make him commit to you by marrying him or by having a baby together.

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    Read more about: men
    Story first published: Wednesday, March 7, 2018, 21:00 [IST]
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