Keeping teenage damage low... Contd

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Another aspect that works against the cautious parent bringing up any teenager is that there is bound to be considerable generation gap. The things that you used to do, the tendencies that you had, the crowd you were around, the things you did for fun...all of that would have gone a whole generation further. You will be lost if you sit down with your children and their peers because it is quite likely that you don't share anything in common at all. You are of a different generation and your son or daughter is of a different generation. There is really nothing much that you can do about that. The best way to handle the generation gap is to let it be. You may most probably never ever come to terms with the things that your childrens generation does. Let them have their space as long as it doesn't hurt them in the long run. If need be, then put your foot down. A little resentment at such an early age wont cost much compared to the cost that you might have to pay if you let them go astray because you didn't want them to resent you.

As parents, it is natural to want to be your childs good friend, but the magic of being a parent is when you can have your children look up at you and think big of you. Being their best friend is not recommended. If you want your child to respect you, parents should maintain that parental distance. Leave all their darkest secrets to their other friends as long as it does not kill them. Let them keep their girl friends to themselves till they approach you to bless them for marriage. Keeping a certain amount of distance with your child lets them know you as someone whom they revere, whom they look upto. When you get close to them and become their friends, you lose that place. You can choose between this and that. In this case, the long-term result is better. They fear and respect you as elders, and at the same time will come to you when they have run into trouble, require help or need a piece of advice from you.