Sibling Rivalry

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Sibling rivalry is a common feature in each and every family. Siblings can be the best of pals to walk the road of life hand in hand, a comforting comrade when you are engulfed in gloom and the buddy who is in all bliss when your life is in blossom and bloom. But siblings can also be your worst enemy with jealousy and strife housed within one's heart and the relationship that is expected of a long lease of life could turn hostile forever.

Sibling rivalry could be classified into two as strife between children and strife between adults.

Sibling rivalry between children:
"Mom she has taken my toy"
"Dad he is pulling my hair"
Such statements are a part of almost every household. It probably has its origin even when the sibling is still within the mother's womb. Though sibling rivalry has to be checked it is a cute sight watching the exchange of perky statements but highly frustrating when the quarrel gets heated up.

There are a lot of aspects that contribute to sibling rivalry. The main feature among them is jealousy and possessiveness; a spirit of competition that prevails within the little hearts. A child that enjoys the attention of the parents is suddenly confronted with the idea of sharing the love and affection of its parents that it guards solely to itself. It is possessiveness that branches out into petty squabbles and bickering.

Children's personality comprising of their moods, adaptability and temperament are all factors that go into them relating to each other. It is very natural for the parents to lend their attention to the one that is younger, the one that needs their concentration in its grooming or the one that is ailing. This could trigger off a quarrel or cause jealousy between siblings.

It is a part of growing up with the elder one taking the upper hand or expressing a bossy attitude especially when stepping into teenage. It is natural with the children in their teens not to cooperate with their parents in lending a helping hand in taking care of their sibling. They at times would not even want to acknowledge their sibling in school or other places if surrounded by friends.

Tips for parents to control sibling strife

• A harmonious home would set the basis for a harmonious relationship between the siblings. Hence parents should not get into quarrels and squabbles in front of their children
• Intervene only when things get serious or otherwise kids may not be able to tackle things on their own.
• Appreciate the children for what they are and do not compare one with the other as comparison is that which brews jealousy.
• When someone compliments your baby do not hesitate to say something nice about your older children
• Give your older children small responsibilities in taking care of the younger ones
• Allot time to spend with each child separately
• Allow only healthy competition between children

Sibling strife in adults
One's beauty, nature, financial status and social status are the factors that normally arouse the feeling of jealousy in adult siblings. You could be the one who is always at the beck and call of your parents but your sibling could be their object of their pride due to some of the above factors. Your attention and love could be often taken for granted. Or it could be the jealousy brewing within one's heart for years; or your ears could have been continuously taking in statements of appreciation of your sibling like "Oh your sister paints well, do you?" or "Oh your brother is a good sportsman, what are you?" You might not even be able to hold a brush or have the flair for sports; or you are not being treated on par with your sibling as you may not be up to the standards that are normally looked upon by the society.

Steps to curtail sibling rivalry in adults

• Understand that your parents are also humans and are prone to make mistakes
• Always be proud of what you are and don't care for what you are not as each one is unique. Remember there is no person on this planet like you. You are so special.
• Develop a sense of pride and happiness in your sibling's success and well being
• Develop the attitude of forgiveness to an erring sibling that might someday lead them to ponder their mistakes
• Seek happiness within yourself. It is this attitude that fosters the feeling of contentment that keeps jealousy at bay
• The world is large outside .So find a life of your own as independence and a considerable spacing would always keep relationships going
• Understand the nature of your sibling and forego the negative side.

Sibling rivalry is a natural phenomenon and if handled in the right way can be taken in the right stride.