150 Things Every Man Should Know

Pulse

oi-Staff

By Super Admin

Monday, May 16, 2011, 17:56

A new book, entitled '150 Things Every Man Should Know' offers to help men through the minefield of being a male. The book hands out pointers about certain skills, which apparently all lads would find indispensable, such as the correct etiquette in a urinal, hiding a love-bite or spotting artificial breasts.

Some favourites from the 14.99 pound book -

Hiding a love-bite

1. To hide the spot, smear a toothpaste over the bite and leave.
2. Apply arnica cream. Arnica speeds up healing and reduces bruises.
3. Wear a polo neck, scarf or cravat. Tell friends you're thinking of joining a bowling club if they're suspicious.
4. If desperate, reach for some concealer.

Urinal etiquettes

1. Control the power of your flow. Back splash is embarrassing enough on your own shirt, let alone your boss'.

2. Don't stand far back and experiment with your aim.
3. Remember: Sinks are for washing your hands and absolutely nothing else.
4. It is totally unacceptable to operate a Blackberry or mobile at a urinal, especially during conference calls.
Spotting false boobs

1. Size: If she looks like she's smuggling watermelons, they are probably fake.
2. Shape: Boob jobs look hard and muscular. Real breasts look soft and curved.

How to get over a girl

1. Do: Hit the pub with some mates.
2. Don't: Drink yourself into a stupor.
3. Do: Pack her belongings into a box and return them to her as soon as possible.
4. Don't: Have sex with the ex.

How to turn a girl off you if you don't like her

1. Be elusive. Tell her you're busy all the time and can not return calls, texts or emails.
2. Drop hints. Tell her you're in a relationship with someone.
3. Disgust her. Wear really old, dirty clothes and don't clean your teeth for a week.