Just-A-Pause : Step out of the Hurtful Dance

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Alexander Pope once said, "To err is human; to forgive, Divine."

There comes a time in one's life when there is unexplainable uneasiness. I'm sure most of us have experienced this at some point or the other. Is it due to our negative ego, which loves to hold onto a grudge or hurt? Why did my spouse say that to me; or how could my friend turn away from me in time of need? Our negative ego is what blocks our happiness and peace of mind. We hold within us that bitterness and resentment which later manifest into stress, ulcers and poor health conditions.

In this life... we are unable to forget whatever remains un-forgiven. So, if we won't let go of some pain - whose time has now past - then who is to blame for the weight of this burden still being carried on our back? The worst part is when we have reached our end and find that we are still carrying this baggage. What do we do then? It is said that only death can bring peace; but in order to have a peaceful death it becomes imperative to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Ultimately, we have a choice to support our EGO or our SOUL, to be RIGHT or find PEACE. Here, forgiving is a closure.

So, what does it mean to forgive? The meaning of the verb forgive, translates into "to let go", which is the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the releasing (letting go) of negative feelings generated in us by another. So, doesn't it become our responsibility to let go of the hurt that another produces for us? The other person can apologize for their negative impact, but we still have to let go of the hurt feelings in order for forgiveness to become a healing experience. The "letting go" is the most grueling part.

What makes forgiveness so difficult for us? Don't we tend to think of it as a sacrifice, as giving in, giving up, and losing our "rightness"? It's like giving up the chip that says, "You owe me." It seems to discount the pain we felt. Forgiveness is sometimes experienced as letting someone who upset us off the hook, no longer holding them accountable for their actions. When we choose to forgive somebody, does it mean that we are acknowledging his or her cruel behavior as acceptable?

As we go through life, we realize that forgiveness is a journey; and sometimes it's a real long hard winding road. We may never forget BUT we can choose to forgive. We can even forgive today and feel the pain all over again tomorrow.

It is said that when we stop looking for love, security and peace outside ourselves, and discover it within, we are finally free and the magic of forgiveness has worked its spell. But, isn't that easier said than done?! When the actual time comes to forgive, will we be able to truly let go? Do we have in us that divine quality?