Just-a-Pause : Is It Necessary For All Stories To Have A Happy Ending?

Pulse

oi-Staff

By Staff

Wednesday, December 17, 2008, 15:44

The most common greeting is - "Hello. How are you?" And you wonder – is this mere courtesy or is it genuine concern? Then accordingly answer - Fine, Very well, So far so good, etc. You would not stop on the road and immediately pour out your problems to all and sundry now, would you?

We all have our own life stories but we compartmentalize it so that no one person knows the whole story.

This morning, on the radio I happened to hear "I'm The Great Pretender" by Dolly Parton. Whew! Deep meaningful words there, that can really get to you.

Yes I'm the great pretender
Pretending that I'm doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell

We all have our internal personal value system that we go by and no matter how many splashes of colour we paint on the surface, what ultimately counts is that one true colour which lies deep within.

How many of us actually wear a cloak of laughter (maybe a bit too loud), or that twinkle in the eye (a tad too bright) and surround ourselves with people (so far and no further). Are we transparent with our feelings? Even if we want to, it is difficult to be true to ourselves, lest we be judged as over emotional, too sensitive or just short of crazy. So, we tend to bottle up till we reach a state of numbness.

However, there comes a time when you realize that this numb state is getting you nowhere. When you stop sharing, the whole essence of a relationship is lost. After all, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs from them.

Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

For some time we walk the thin line between pretense and harsh reality. But once this realization dawns that enough-is-enough, from then on it's a different ball game altogether. At this time a helping hand is so welcoming that we tend to cling on to it and don't want to let go just yet. But once you start opening up, how much is too much? How do you decide where to draw the line? And more so, what do you do when that person ignores your plea for help? Do you rethink whether you've done the right thing in approaching the person in the first place? Does that person really understand what you are going through and how scared you actually are? Or have you said too much too soon? Or is that person just too busy to bother?

We go back to Dolly Parton song and sing-a-long…..
Oh-oh, yes I'm the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I've played the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone.