Marriage in Japan

Tokai, Oct 30 (UNI): For Japanese women, traditionally meant becoming the servant of their husband's family. Care of their elderly relatives-in-law was seen as part of their housework duties. Putting an elderly person in a home is often frowned upon as a form of abandonment, while the custom of the eldest son inheriting all the family property means the burden of nursing care often falls exclusively on his wife.

''The government is doing nothing for the carers,'' said Prof.

Takashi Hosaka of Tokai University.

He has spearheaded projects such as training care-givers to identify depression and group counselling sessions for carers, which has been clinically proven to reduce their stress levels.

NETWORKING AVOIDS DEPRESSION Some care-givers take advantage of local services and voluntary networks to make life easier.

Hiromichi Takeuchi, a 62-year-old retired marketing planner lives in a quiet residential area of Tokyo with his 93-year-old mother, Iyo, a cheerful, neatly turned-out woman who has Alzheimer's disease and is unable to walk.

Hiromichi has faced problems -- Iyo recently fell from her wheelchair and broke her arm while he was on the telephone.

But by combining daycare services, a home helper and joining a local carers' group, he has arranged his mother's timetable so that he only needs to care for her alone one day a week.

''It's important to give yourself a bit of leeway. It's the people who try too hard who trip up,'' he said.

Avoiding isolation is crucial, experts agree.

Makino became aware of the loneliness suffered by those caring for the elderly when she was assisting the victims of the 1995 earthquake in the western city of Kobe.

''When we visited the homes of people caring for the elderly, it was as if they could finally let out all the worries that had been building up inside them,'' Makino said.

''It's as if they live in a sealed capsule. They don't have the opportunity to talk to anyone outside, which leads to all sorts of problems,'' Makino explained.

''That's when frightening things can happen,'' she added.