Toppers Under Pressure: How India's High-Achieving Children Are Quietly Struggling

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One of the most cherished photographs that many Indian parents keep on their phone or on the refrigerator door is of their child holding a report card with a perfect score and wearing a proud grin. It is the kind of image that gets shared in family WhatsApp groups and earns rounds of congratulations from relatives near and far. It feels like proof that things are going well. Often, it is not.

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Behind the A+ score student, the debate team captain, the kid who finishes homework before dinner and still makes time for two extracurriculars, there is sometimes a quieter story unfolding. One that does not make it into the group chat.

We spoke to Sanjay Desai, Author, Entrepreneur, and Founder and CEO of ConsciousLeap, who explained why India's top-scoring students are quietly struggling.

The Data Behind the Smile

The data on this is both recent and difficult to look away from. A 2025 study published in a peer-reviewed Indian medical journal found that among school-going adolescents in Delhi, 25.92% were dealing with depression and 13.70% with clinical anxiety.

"These were not struggling students from difficult homes. Many were performing exactly as described above and as their parents had hoped," said Desai. According to UNICEF, depression and anxiety together account for 42.9% of all mental health disorders recorded in adolescents globally. In India, young people between 15 and 24 years of age account for more than 35% of all suicide fatalities. These are children who, on paper, had futures ahead of them.

Where the Pressure Really Begins

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The pressure begins earlier than most parents realise. It is not just the board exams or the preparation for JEE and NEET that carry weight.

Research from Karnataka published in 2024 found that competitive entrance exam anxiety was clearly linked to perceived parental expectations, and that this pressure was causing insomnia, inattentiveness and emotional dysregulation in teenagers who had not even reached their most demanding years yet. By the time a child develops these patterns, the habits of suppressing distress and performing wellness have usually already taken root.

Performing Wellness, Suppressing the Self

"This is what makes the "high-performing child" so difficult to identify. Many of these children learn early that achievement earns appreciation, acceptance, and validation in ways that vulnerability or struggle often do not. Suppressing their authentic expression, compromising their true wishes to the altar of family aspirations, pseudo-flourishing or surface satisfaction become a habit," explained Desai.

Resultantly, they sleep less, stop sharing what they are really feeling, and push through headaches, anxiety, and low moods because slowing down feels like failure. From the outside, they appear resilient, disciplined, and thriving. They are praised for their determination, when in reality they may simply be exhausting themselves to meet expectations, running on empty while no one notices.

Intention Versus Impact

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"The parents in this picture are rarely villains. Most are doing what their own upbringing taught them: that hard work and academic achievement build successful futures. There is nothing malicious in it. But intention and impact are two different things, and the impact on a child who internalises achievement as identity can be lasting," added Desai.

Widening What Success Means

"The world today is different. Schools and parents both need to widen what they count as success. A child who knows how to manage disappointment, who can ask for help, who has close friendships and a genuine sense of curiosity about the world, is building something that a perfect report card cannot replicate and that no entrance exam can measure," said Desai.

Research suggests that consistent, small conversations matter more than occasional big ones. Asking "how are you feeling about school" rather than "what did you score" is a shift that sounds minor but signals something significant to a child: that the relationship is not conditional on performance. Ensuring that children have unstructured time, time without productivity attached to it, is not indulgence. It is a developmental necessity.

"The hidden cost of raising a high-performing child is often paid in the currency of their inner life. The question worth sitting with is not how well they are doing. It is how they actually are," concluded Desai.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.