Being Told To ‘Man Up’ Is Damaging Men’s Mental Health, Here’s What Needs To Change

Add as a preferred source on Google

When Virat Kohli dropped to his knees and cried after finally lifting the IPL trophy this year, the world saw more than just a cricketing victory. In that moment-raw, unguarded, and televised across millions of screens-many saw something men are rarely allowed to show: emotion.

Photo Credit: PTI

His tears came at a time when they mattered most. Men's Health Week is here, that talks about the mental and emotional well-being that society so often expects men to ignore.

Because while trophies shine and careers are celebrated, what often goes unseen is the pressure on men to be stoic, silent, and strong at all costs.

And that's a conversation worth having.

As A Man You've Probably Been Told Not to Cry

From a young age, boys are told to "man up," "don't cry," "be strong." Strength, in this mould, means silence. It means hiding sadness, numbing pain, laughing off vulnerability.

As a result, many men grow up thinking crying is something to be ashamed of-something to be done, if at all, behind closed doors.

But here's the truth: suppressing emotions doesn't make them disappear. It just makes them harder to manage. And it comes at a cost.

The Health Risks Of Bottling It All In

Emotional suppression has been linked to a range of health problems. A 2013 study found that repressing emotions can lead to cancer, cardiovascular issues, and a higher stress load on the body.

Emotionally, it can lead to depression, anxiety, and difficulty forming meaningful connections. In fact, a 2018 study found that people who were unable to cry often felt socially disconnected and struggled with empathy.

For men in particular, this has serious consequences. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 6 million men in the US experience depression every year but they are far less likely to seek help.

Why? Because society tells them not to.

What Happens When Men Cry? Science Has An Answer

We tend to think of tears as one thing, but scientists classify them into three types:

• Basal tears keep the eyes lubricated.
• Reflex tears clear irritants like dust or onions.
• Emotional tears, though, are different. They contain stress hormones like ACTH, which trigger the release of cortisol. Shedding them helps regulate our stress response.

Crying also activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us calm down after a period of stress. A 2014 review showed that crying can release oxytocin and endorphins-two natural chemicals that relieve pain and improve mood.

In other words: crying is self-care. Built-in. Free. Human.

Photo Credit: Freepik

Crying Isn't New-We Just Forgot It Was Normal

What's ironic is that this emotional openness isn't new-it's historical. Men in ancient cultures weren't expected to be emotionally stoic. Quite the opposite.

Medieval knights wept. Homeric heroes wept. Samurai in Japanese literature were portrayed as deeply emotional. Even religious prophets, across traditions, were shown crying.

This idea that men must be stone-faced is proving to be unhealthy.

Thankfully, times are changing. Conversations around toxic masculinity, mental health, and gender norms are helping dismantle old stereotypes.

Breaking The Stigma

Kohli's tears became a talking point because the raw, emotional moment resonated with fans as a rare public display of vulnerability by a man.

And that's exactly the kind of visibility we need. Because if crying is human, then everyone should be allowed to do it-without shame, without apology.

Men need:

• Safe spaces to talk about how they feel
• Support systems that listen without judgement
• Role models who show that vulnerability is part of strength
• Therapy can be an important tool here. It's not just for those in crisis-it's for anyone learning how to express, process, and live better.

Tears Are Not A Weakness, They're A Way Through

So, if you've ever had to swallow your emotions, if you've ever felt a lump in your throat and pushed it down, know this: you're not alone. And you don't have to keep doing it.

Photo Credit: By Tom Pumford on Unsplash

Let Virat Kohli's tears remind us that emotional expression is not the opposite of masculinity-it's part of it. It's time we stopped equating strength with silence and started embracing honesty, even when it comes with tears.

After all, there's no bravery quite like being real.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.