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Adjustment Period In Marriage: How To Deal With It?
Marriage And Beyond
oi-Anwesha Barari
The
Duration
of
Adjustment
in
Marriage
Phase:
It
will
begin
right
after
your
honeymoon
ends
and
you
start
living
together
under
the
same
roof
as
man
and
wife.
This
phase
of
adjustment
in
marriage
may
last
for
one
year
or
a
couple
of
years.
But
even
after
3
years
of
marriage
if
you
feel
that
the
adjustment
phase
is
not
over,
then
it
is
something
to
worry
about.
May
be
you
are
not
spending
enough
time
together.
The
Salient
Features
of
the
Adjustment
Period:
This
is
by
far
the
most
tumultuous
stage
of
marriage.
This
is
probably
because
you
actually
see
each
other
as
normal
people
and
not
as
sweethearts.
- All the minor, irrelevant defects of your spouse strike you as serious offenses.
- Tempers will soar, voices will be raised and tears will be shed. Nothing in this phase of marriage is casual. Even a tiff over who uses the bathroom first will be an intense affair.
- You will tend to miss your life before marriage, your parents and your friends. As the grass is always greener on the other side, marriage itself will seem like a terrible mistake.
- Your nerves will be at their edge and you will jump at the small frailties of your partner's nature. If you are a woman, you might feel an unrelenting urge to cry all the time in this stage of marriage.
- Your egos will clash like the clash of the Titans. You will be surprised to know that you are capable of being so ego-centric.
How To Adjust To Adjustment in Marriage Phase?
- The first thing to is to consider that your spouse is going through the same things that you are. That should soften your heart towards them.
- In a marriage the entity called 'ego' has to be kept aside. This is a game that two play and both win. Stop thinking of your partner as 'external' to you. You two are now sailing in the same boat; any imbalance from either side will sink the boat. This understanding in marriage will go a long way in consolidating your relationship.
- No matter how much or how seriously you fight, you must make up before you go to sleep. Don't carry a grudge to the next day. This is really works!
Comments
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Story first published: Thursday, August 4, 2011, 16:33 [IST]
Other articles published on Aug 4, 2011