10 Lessons To Learn From Past Relationships

Written by: Sheetal Tewari
Updated: Monday, April 22, 2013, 16:33 [IST]
 
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We all have a past, which often carries history of past relationships that went sour. These are relationships which started on a good note, like every relationship does, but somehow, somewhere things didn't go as planned. They died a slow death; some died abruptly too. These are basically broken relationships.

Should we look back to past relationships, or should we bury them deeper and deeper into oblivion? Looking back to see what went wrong with muy past relationships, will it only allow more heartache, or will it serve as a guide for a better present and a brighter future. Living in the past is stupid considering we cannot bring broken dead relationship to life but what is more stupid is a complete disregard of our past, especially because there is so much learning that can be had.

A wise man learns from his mistakes that cost him those sweet relationships in the past and he applies that wisdom to make his present relationships flourish. You must never forget the cause of break ups so that you can learn from them.

Below are few things that we should learn from our past relationships.

Nothing kills a relationship like ego does

If it's ‘me' first for both of you, you are keeping your ego above your relationship. Both of you cannot win an argument but both of you can lose it.

 

 

Men are from mars, women from Venus

You have to understand that you are very different individuals. Men are driven by reason and women by emotions; none is wrong and if you expect the other to think like you, try being in his shoes for a while. Say Sorry and Thank you!

Mutual respect goes a long way

Respect for the other person and respect for the relationship makes any relationship beautiful. Respect her and everything she values. Hard times are the best judge for respect; don't lose it when you lose your temper. She will forget that you shouted but she won't forget what you said.

Everyone needs his space

Don't encroach into your partner's space. You are being possessive and at worst suspicious, if you have to know everything.

People don’t like being controlled

It's a must to consult each other while making decisions because your decisions affect each other; but you should make decisions on behalf of the other. If you are doing so, you are trying to control. If one of the partners is feeling suppressed, it isn't a healthy relationship any more.

Have time for your relationship

Relationships don't grow in vacuum, they need nourishment. You have to find time for each other, despite your tight schedule and despite your late hours. Spending time with each other strengthens the relationship. A strong relationship can endure some tough times too.

Develop trust

Grow a relationship based on trust, not one based on fear and suspicion. Suspicion is addictive, and increasingly so. The more you doubt your partner, the darker the world appears to you. You won't realize how quickly you slip into the never ending abyss of suspicion.

Don’t involve others

There are times in a relationship when things don't look very good; keep your matters to yourselves, don't involve others. No one can mend a relationship for you, only you can. No washing dirty linen in public. You can easily forget things happen between you and your partner. If others get involved, it brings in an element of insult which is tough to forget.

 

 

Find opportunities to celebrate your relationships

Remember some important dates and don't forget to celebrate them. They give you joy and strengthen your bond. Stronger bonds can pass through the test of times.

Love is the fuel

Love is the fuel in every relationship; never let your relationship run out of it. Share your joys and sorrows and never let go off an opportunity to show how much you value your love.

Story first published:  Monday, April 22, 2013, 16:32 [IST]
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