Are Your Parenting Styles Different?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012, 12:50 [IST]

Many couples admit that the frequency and intensity of their quarrels increase after having a kid. It has often been seen that the parenting styles of the mother and father do not match with each other. The mother has a different idea about bringing up her child and the father has a totally different perspective to the same. This results in parenting differences which can actually turn to really ugly fights.

It is neither desirable nor advisable for parents to fight over their kids. For raising your kids in a healthy way, you must resolve the differences in an amicable way. Here are some of the parenting differences that may arise as your kid grows up and tips on how to resolve them.

1. Mother's Pride: A mother always secretly believes that she loves her children more than her partner. This is purely due to the fact that she bears the child in her womb and gives birth in great pain. But just because the mother gives birth to the child, she does not become a better parent. If the father has a better parenting style, he must convince her without hurting her pride.

2. The Disciplinarian: In every family, one parent must be the strict and enforce discipline while the other is more like a friend. This decision must be mutually taken by parents. If both parents become strict or lenient, then the child suffer from excesses. The child will either be scared all the time or too arrogant to listen to anyone.

3. Parental Favouritism: Every parent has a favourite child in secret. They may not express it explicitly but it becomes apparent in many ways. When one parent plays favourites, then other is tempted to do the same but it will be a fatal mistake. You both are raising kids, not enemy army camps. Remove the shadow of favouritism from your parenting styles altogether.

4. To Hit Or Not To Hit: Every parent goes through a dilemma about how much use of physical punishment is enough. Modern parenting styles do not support any kind of violence but sometimes the kid is absolutely incorrigible! Do not hurt the child's body, hurt his/her conscience. Always ensure that either you or your partner does not take out other frustrations on the child. Avoid violence as much as possible because it will take its toll on the child's future.

5. How Much Is Too Much?: These days both parents are working and have little time with the kid. They try to buy gifts for the child to compensate for quality time that they are not able to give. It might be normal for a parent to feel that their spouse is spoiling the child with too many things. Go to a child psychologist together to resolve your parenting differences because this is a very subjective question.

These are some of the ways to resolve differences in parenting styles without fighting. Have you had any major differences while raising your child? Do share with us.

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