Apaisuna-(The Quality Of Not Finding Fault With Others)

Vedanta

-Staff

By Staff

Friday, January 18, 2008, 12:43

Looking for faults in another person's behaviour or character and talking about that person disparagingly to others in his/her absence is called 'paisuna'. The absence of this vice is apaisuna which is listed as a divine quality in the Bhagavad Gita. Talking ill of others is a manifestation of jealousy, hatred or egoism. These feelings arise when we are not happy and contented with ourselves; the presence of another person or his happiness induces insecurity in us.

Hence, to cultivate the divine quality of apaisuna, one must resist the urge to talk ill of others and focus on the feeling within which is causing the pressure to do so. Finding the root cause and resolving it through vichara helps in reducing our tendency to gossip. Also, it is often observed that those who criticise another person or an idea vehemently actually have a hidden soft corner for that person or idea. For example, a man who opposes cruelty to animals with his open support to an animal rights movement might actually be addicted to non-vegetarian food. He may be trying to cover up his guilt with his vocal support for animal rights! The views we air can become clues to understanding our real motives. We have to be careful not to allow the mind to trick us into such hypocrisy.

The second law of gossip is that it always reaches the person who is the target of such gossip! It is naÏve to think that our friends or colleagues can keep such gossip to themselves. It goes round the whole place and is sure to return to us with compound interest!

Gossip is also one of the problems that many HR managers have difficulty in dealing with. Gossip in the office environment can lead to serious conflicts with colleagues or superiors. But the employees often find it an interesting means to share news which is not otherwise accessible officially. In such environments, one must be cautious not to target any individual and focus on issues of common interest instead. This can keep many unnecessary conflicts out of the workplace.

Since apaisuna essentially involves gaining control over the faculty of speech, practices like observing mouna (silence) can be of great help. Set apart an hour everyday or a day in a week to undertake a voluntary vow of silence or limited speech. Many great men like Gandhiji were known to practice mouna. I know some writers who observe mouna when they wish to write a column, observing silence externally stimulates the mind. Let us try and control the dissipation of our precious spiritual energy through idle speech or destructive gossip and divert it to useful channels.