Forgiveness: Foundation To Fulfilling Future

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Martin Luther King, Jr.

What would you do if you feel cheated, ignored or neglected by your partner in any relationship whether it be romance, friendship or marriage life? The first thought that strikes your mind may be that of a break up. Nothing is more heart-wrenching than you finding out that the one you love cheated on you with another person.

You feel betrayed, angry, hurt, and frustrated, along with a myriad of other feelings. Is it possible to save a relationship that has been soiled by a cheating lover? Can the one who was cheated on get over the betrayal, and will the one who cheated do so again? But what about forgiving them? Have you ever experimented with the element of forgiveness in your relationships?

Forgiveness can heal and mend your relationships when it is at the edge of break up. When you forgive your lover or partner, you are stating your domination over him/her just as Mahatma Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

What does it mean by forgiveness? Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do for someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.

If your partner has cheated on you, you will be hurt mentally. To forgive him/her you should first prepare yourself. Take time to heal your wounds and then forgive your partner. In order for your relationship to be saved, it is vital that you forgive your partner and the offensive deed he/she has done to you. If you walk around harboring those feelings, your anger and jealousy will build until the relationship rots from the inside. This does not necessarily mean that you should forget what happened. Try seeing things from the point of view of your lover, realizing that not everyone is perfect, and knowing that people may make mistakes.

When forgiving your lover you should convey and convince him/her how painful you were when he/she cheated you. Convincing of the action may make them not to repeat what he/she has done to you. Forgiveness does not mean you condone another's actions or that you believe what they have done is right and you are wrong. Forgiveness is letting go of the bad feelings, acknowledging our pain and putting those feelings in the past where they belong. Offenses are common, and the offender usually wants to be forgiven. But the offended is usually reluctant to forgive, particularly if the offender hasn't learned anything from the ordeal.

Alexander Pope once said "To err is human and to forgive is divine"