What I Learnt From A Bad Relationship: Part 3

Add as a preferred source on Google

Jagdish Maali, Photographer
This ace photographer, father to well-known model-actress, Antara Maali has survived two failed marriages.

Let bygones be bygones
"My experience has taught me that you have to forget the past and move on. Life is a learning process and if you continue to cling to the past, there will certainly be no scope for personal growth. It takes some time to get over a separation, but the key to surviving it is to keep oneself busy. I drowned myself into reading, shooting and watching movies."

Best of friends
"The deeper you get into the morass, the more mess you'll find yourself in. The best thing is to let go and to start afresh. Being from a creative line, my views on marriage and separation are a little different. In fact, my first wife and I still keep in touch and we never allowed our separation to affect Antara in any way."

Anita, student
A failed marriage has taught Anita a great deal about love and relationships. Continuing with her education she is looking forward to a bright and secure future.

Give your best shot
"The whole experience has taught me to be strong - emotionally and mentally. It has given me a chance to figure out what is most important to me - my self-respect and dignity. I was not willing to go through with marriage if it means sacrificing them. I had set parameters of what I expect from a partner and what I will certainly not tolerate. I can truthfully say that I gave it my best shot. If things didn't work maybe they were not meant to be. I've learnt not to blame myself for the breakdown in my relationship."

Let head rule your heart
"I still maintain that relationships are more important than material possessions. Respect for a partner is the foundation of any relationship and loss of that is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship. Mutual respect is tremendously important.

One good thing that came out from my experience is that I have learnt to separate emotion from reason and learnt to evaluate relationships rationally. This way it is easier to take tough decisions. It's always tough when there is a child involved. They are innocent victims of their parents' miscalculations and I wish they could somehow be spared this pain and turmoil. Sometimes one can only do so much."

Coping with the pain
"It did take a long time to come to terms with the separation. But keeping busy, retaining my self-respect by learning to be independent helped in sorting out things without letting emotion cloud the judgment. Working out in the gym is the best way to relax a confused mind and besides one sleeps better when one is exhausted." Hang in there.

"The process of coping with a separation takes time and isn't easy. You need the support of family and close friends who can reach out to you and who will understand your troubles without being judgemental. You need to have faith in yourself to make the right choices. It is tough to stand your ground even as you feel the need to revert back to your comfort zone. In the end, it's all worth it."