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How To Stop Being Over-possessive In Your Relationship

Posted By: Shatavisha Chakravorty

Being in a relationship is a special feeling. It is here that two souls become one and embark on a journey of togetherness. While some people are lucky enough that their journey of togetherness lasts a lifetime, not everyone is that fortunate enough.

Sometimes, being together in a relationship lasts a couple of months (or in the worst case scenario, even days). Now, it is not our concern to ponder over how long a relationship lasts. What we should worry about is the fact that how a person in a relationship treats his better half, irrespective of the amount of time that they are together.

tips to stop being over possessive in relationship

While it is obvious that being in a relationship makes you feel protective over your partner, it is important for you to know that she or he is not a commodity that you own.

Hence, you have no right to be over-possessive over your partner. Doing so will only make him or her irritated and that will affect your relationship in a manner you would not like.

That is why, it is all the way more important for you to understand the fine line between being protective and being over-possessive. This article explores the various ways in which you can stop being over-possessive in your relationship.


1. Let Go Of The Past

We understand that something bad might have happened to you in the past because of which you live in constant fear of being cheated upon. However, it is important for you to realize that not all men (or women) are the same. Just because someone has treated you ill in the past, it does not mean that the same thing will happen again. Trust your partner and let him or her be as he or she is. This is the first step in ensuring a long and healthy relationship.


2. Know Each Other’s Friends

The best way to avoid jealousy and doubt is by getting to know each other's friend circle. By being a part of your partner's social circle, you know exactly where your relationship stands.


3. Have Personal Aspirations

This may range from having hobbies that are different from that of your partner to having a career of your own. The fact remains that by having a life of your own, you will be busy and you will have less time in thinking about the unnecessary things in a relationship and get over-possessive or jealous of your partner.


4. Do Not Comment On Their Dressing

How a person dresses up is a purely personal issue and you have no right to comment over the dressing style of your partner. Hence, irrespective of whether you like it or not, make sure that you keep your opinions to yourself. By commenting on their dressing, you are just proving yourself to be an over-possessive partner.


5. Allow Him Or Her To Go On Solo Trips

No matter how much the other person loves you, there might be times when he or she would want to go out without you. This might mean going out for a movie or going out of station for a solo trip (or a trip with school or college buddies). Make sure you do not stop him or her from such trips. Doing so will only make you over-possessive and that is definitely not something that we would want.


6. Talk It Out

If you are insecure about your relation for some reason or the other, the best thing that you can do is to talk it out. Tell your partner what is it about him or her that makes you feel unsafe. Chances are that he or she will have a justification for their actions. Hearing the other person's perspective often gives us a better understanding of the entire situation and in that way, you will be able to sort out your relationship problems.


7. Keep Room For Mistakes

Know that you and your partner are both humans and it is obvious that at some point or the other, both of you will make mistakes. By not getting over-possessive or insecure about your relationship every time your partner makes a mistake, you are just proving what a mature individual you are.


8. Do Not Check Their Phones Or E-mails

No matter what you feel about your relationship, make sure you confront it. Do not attack from the back and stoop low enough to check the other person's phone or e-mail. This is not just out rightly over-possessive on your part, but it is also ethically wrong. In today's digital world, this is the utmost breach of personal space that anyone can be subjected to.


9. Do A Role Reversal

It is often seen that we blame the other person in a relationship for his or her actions one day and then end up doing the same or similar things the very next day. To make sure that this does not happen, before reacting to anything that your partner says or does, try to put yourself in their shoes. If someone is able to do it regularly, they will be astonished to see that they are no longer over-possessive in the relationship and that the relationship is stronger than ever before.


10. Seek External Help

If you are someone who has realized that he or she is being the over-possessive one in a relationship and even after following all of the above-listed steps you are still not able to snap out of it, then realize that it is the time for you to seek professional help. You can consider consulting a relationship therapist or a marriage counselor about the same. These days, there are such professionals in almost all major cities. It is time that we do away with the stigma that is associated with counseling and seek the help that we deserve.

Read more about: love
Story first published: Monday, February 26, 2018, 16:45 [IST]
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