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Is Fighting Good For Your Relationship?


A heated discussion with your man can never be fun but it is bound to transpire. Most women who are in a serious relationship with their boyfriend would have experienced a major conflict even if it is just six months into the relationship.

And when there are disputes you start to worry about that loving bond you have endeavoured to create in your relationship which will in one way or another begin to erode.

Some couples do assume that a conflict can crumble a relationship and so they prefer to avoid it.

Michael Batshaw, who has authored '51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged' says that engaging in a conflict isn't going to end the relationship but it is all about avoiding the conflict.

So does a fight help you to love more? According to psychologist Xavier Amander, author of 'I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now what?', fighting is an essential ingredient needed for building confidence and intimacy.

It may sound buckled, but disagreements can provide an opportunity for couples to grow closer if they are dealt with constructively rather than turning into huge blowouts.

So how would you know that conflicts don't ruin your prized relationship but instead these can help you grow more?

Let's find out if fighting in a relationship can help you to love more.

Get Your Negative Thoughts Out

One of the things you need to understand is that it is okay to fight in relationships as it clears the air between the couple. Something might be bothering you for quite some time and you are looking for ways to get the feeling and the thoughts out. In such cases, you must try to get your negative thoughts out.

When you try to bottle things up, it tends to eat you and over the long run, it can even make you passive aggressive towards your guy. Moreover, this can never be a good idea if you are in a serious relationship. So sometimes, fighting in a relationship can help you to love more. However, fighting can become a problem if it happens more and more at irregular intervals.

Solve The Problem

Most of the time, your partner is not intentionally trying to put you down or hurt you during an argument. Understand that getting hurt happens to be a spin-off of that action. So, will a fight help you to love more? Everyone wants some excitement and drama in their life. Without a fight, there would be no flavour in a relationship.

It is always better to stir the pot, add some superfluous heat and spice so that it becomes hot enough to enjoy. So, arguments can spice things up in your boring relationship. Remember, arguing can be unpleasant. Keep in mind that your objective is to solve the problem rather than to see who wins the clash.

If Emotions Go Overboard, Take A Break

Again, it is highly crucial to stay calm while you are addressing the conflict. Yet, realistically you also need to understand that someone would definitely become upset, frustrated, or irritated when you are talking about the conflict. So, if you find yourself getting more emotional, take a break to placate and calm down. In addition, this way you can save and improve your relationship.

Side-to-side Conversations

"5 Simple Steps To Take Your Marriage From Good To Great" has revealed that men are much more likely to be able to communicate effectively and clearly when discussing a tricky topic such as when they are doing an activity like walking or hiking. Besides, it is always better to have a side-to-side conversation as it is a good way to control the heat of the moment.

So, how does fighting help you love more? Having precincts about what is acceptable behaviour with no yelling or no cursing and screaming can recover a bad fight in your relationship and help you to love more. Instead of seeing disagreements as a peril in your relationship, try to see it as an opportunity and indication of growth for building a stronger bond.

Share You Feelings

A conflict is the best way to get your feelings across to your partner. So, try to work on your listening skills. One of the benefits of fighting in a relationship is that it is better to communicate and share your feelings with each other than keeping it to yourself. Consider the frame of mind of your partner instead of bombarding him or her with your verbal or taunting remarks. Try to assess his mood before going ahead.

However, it doesn't mean it works all the time as sometimes your partner does not want to listen to you. This might be because they may not understand how serious you are. Fighting in your relationship can help you to love more if your are fully listening to your partner without building the case in the back of your head on how your partner is always wrong. Sometimes a fight can help you to love more when both are seeking harmony and affection in a relationship.

If you enjoyed reading the article, feel free to share below in the comment section the feedback you have.


Read more about: love and romance
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