Tips To Improve Your Relationship From Our Expert

SMART PEOPLE LEARN FROM OTHERS' MISTAKES

Is your relationship the best that it can be? Are you ready to learn from other people's mistakes?

During my 30 years as a counsellor, I have had a plethora of amazing experiences. While looking into the minds of people as they worked out their issues and challenges, I have learned a lot. I've had similar experiences as a corporate trainer and an executive coach. It is a privilege to be able to share some of these experiences with all of you, on this platform. I know that you will benefit immensely from it.

SEEKING RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Ask IAN FARIA For Help!

RELATIONSHIPS: MAKE US OR BREAK US?

We are social creatures who deal with others, almost all the time. Do we really understand what happens in someone else's mind? Does he/she see and experience the world the same way that we do? No! They see a totally different world!

We see the world from the narrow filter of our own experience, beliefs, and choices. They see it from theirs. Take the example of an average home. Even though their circumstance and the situation is common, yet each member of that family sees a different dimension of that same reality. This leads to differences, misunderstandings and breakdowns in relationships. The world is different for each person...even though they are a part of that same world.

EMOTIONS RULE
Can we read the writing on the wall? Yes, provided we know what to look for. We all are primarily emotional entities. We feel before we can think. Our emotions rule, run and sometimes they ruin our lives. Somewhere deep within us, we know that we could do better if we could be more in control of our primary relationship - the relationship we have with ourselves.

LIFE - MYSTERY TO MASTERY
Over the next few weeks we will discuss a host of issues in this column. We will learn some quick and effective techniques on how to control our emotions, and how to create and maintain better relationships.

We will cover major issues that affect our lives:

• How can we control our emotions?
• How can we alter our feelings at will?
• How do we rate and improve the quality of our relationships?
• How can we be Emotionally Intelligent?
• How can we communicate better?
• Why do misunderstandings occur? How can they be resolved quickly?
• What is the success formula to get through to another person?
• Is Love real? Can we make it last a lifetime?
• How can we read a person like a book?
• How can we stop conflict and start collaboration?
• How can we live and lead a Happy Life?

Since this is a practical column, we will share easy tips that can lead to best practices.

WE SEE THE WORLD AS WE ARE

All relationships are changeable. The place from where our relationships are controlled is within our reach. In fact, the control lies within us. So to resolve our issues we need to stop breaking our heads and trying to control others. We have tried that for too long... and by now we know that it does not work. So are we ready to try something else? Are we ready to wake up to the reality that life changes only when WE do? The quality of our relationships is not determined by what the other person does. It is determined by how we RESPOND to the situation. Our response is determined by what emotional state we are in at that point of time.

EMOTIONS - the remote control of life
The best way to regain control of our emotions is to work with awareness, and to take conscious decisions. If we react, we operate from the animal instinct within us. If we respond, we operate from a higher self. Let's try to understand conscious awareness. While you are reading this article, are you aware of the sounds in the room? Is your body posture in balance or are you already creating some tension in yourself - maybe in your neck, or back, or through the position of your hand on the keypad?
Are you focusing on the words in this article or the way it is formatted? Or are you focused on what you can gain from it?

Or are you reading this article in the hope that you can resolve your emotional issues?
Are you a person who is ruled by the head or the heart?
Are you constantly thinking about the past? Do you enjoy the present or do you constantly worry about the future?
Are you aware that there is still a lot more you need to learn if you have to be the master of your emotions? Well, I assure you that I will walk you through the jungle of emotions you have within you. It is a step by step process and it will bring you great results.

Now here are some questions that you need to think DEEPLY about...

1. What is the best thing you have read so far?
2. Are you going to implement this learning or are you just going to file it away as academic knowledge? Confucius had a point when he said, "To know and not to do, is not yet to know."
3.Is this article already getting you to review yourself through awareness of your thinking and feeling patterns? Then we have started off well. If not, read this article again for you may have missed a gem that could already be working on your life. Until my next article, which you can read on Sunday.