Children On Divorce – A Painful Time!

Kids

oi-Suparna Chakaraborthy

By Suparna Chakaraborthy

Friday, March 4, 2011, 17:42

Divorce is a very painful time for both the couple as well as the family involved. The main concern is the children who are present in the relationship as they are the target who will suffer the worst consequences.

Some married couples however do not realize that divorce can actually effect children in the hardest ways possible! A close friend of mine who was going through a bitter divorce had a tough time explaining to her kids about her failed marriage. As little children, they came up with plenty of questions which actually put my friend into a dilemma. She, telling the kids alone made them realize that the father did not care.This should never be the case! If you and your partner cannot face each other in the same room, do it at least for your children!

Here are some tips in helping split married couples in telling their children about their divorce.

1.The first thing that you should understand is your child's feelings and how they are going to take the news about you and your partner not in love anymore. Keeping your children thoughts in mind, set a family time to start the explanation.

2.Start together by telling your children that you love them unconditionally and what you are about to explain to them is not at all their fault.

3.This is time for trust and care and children today are smarter than you think. If you lie to them you are going to be the loser. Your children may come up with a lot of questions and it is the duty of the parents to answer the questions truthfully.

4.Explain to the children that there will be custody. Inquire from them who they want to stay with and go accordingly. In some countries, if the child is small they stay with the mother till they are old enough to provide for themselves.

5.Let your children know that you and your partner love him/her dearly and nothing will change that. Also make sure you explain to your child that you and your partner will never be replaced as their parents no matter what ( Even if there is a second marriage)

These are some of the ways married couples can explain to their kids about divorce.