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The complex nature of relationship has taken on the colour of vulnerability in the recent times. The union of marriage too has lost it's consistency or rather people have started walking out of uncomfortable relationships. The occurrence of single parents too have increased, which is infact of an outcome of broken relationships.
Single parents, are not unfortunate. In Indian society they are looked at with sympathy but it is necessary to see the other side of the coin. They have been courageous enough to accept the end of a relation and have decided to keep their children away from unpleasant quarrels.
It is a myth that children with single parents have psychological problems. They don't. They are as normal and healthy as any other children. Rather if they would have been brought up along with their parents quarrels they would be mentally disturbed. At the same time, children of single parents have to be dealt with in a different way as they are not in a normal household condition.
How Should Single Parents Bring Up Their Children?
1.Don't Hide The Fact –It is possible that the couple have split when the child was very young. In this case, the child from the very tender age is used to with having a single parent but as he grows up, society makes him realize he is different. Reach to him before the society and help him accept that he has got only one parent. Don't hide the fact, it will only make things worse. Tell him the truth. You may feel that he is too young to understand but you need to convey him the fact in a way that he will understand. This will make him prepared to face the society. Sudden knowledge of the truth from the society can have averse effect on the child's psychology.
2.Don't Sympathies The Situation –Single parents have to be stronger than the others. Your child should never feel that he is unfortunate. Help him to understand that he is not missing on anything. Your strong attitude will help him be strong to face the fact of having a single parent. Treat him generally and don't pamper him too much. This is generally the trait of a single parent.
3.Fill In The Gap –Both the parents hold the same importance in a child's life. Absence of one makes a huge difference to the children. A single parent needs to take up the challenge and try to fill the gap. Single mothers for example need to play the role of father by being the earning member of the family, by meeting the needs of education and entertainment of the child, by being the armour of the house and other roles which are typical of the father.
4.Handle The Child's Emotions –No matter how much you try, the children are sure to feel the absence of the other parent in their life. This may creep in when they watch their friends with both their parents. You need to be their emotional support. Allow them to cry. Be their friend, so that they can reach out to you with all their doubts, complains and sadness.
5.Never Create Hatred For The Other Parent –To make children comfortable with single parenthood, it is not necessary that they should hate their once upon a time other parent. If you need to blame someone for the situation blame the time but not your ex partner. Children need to be proud of their parents only will then they grow up to be a good one. Negative thoughts about one parent can get the child to grow negativity about that sex. For example – If the father speaks ill about the mother, the child may create hatred for the female sex itself.
There is no harm in the decision of being a single parent, the negativity attached to it by the society are myths. You should be proud of it. You are courageous and able enough to take control of the situation.