Just-a-Pause : Link Between Femininity And Fertility

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What is femininity? Is it the wiles that a woman uses to get what she wants; or is it a quality that a woman possesses? What makes a woman feminine? Is it her clothes, her make-up, her hair style, her beauty, her curves, or her uterus? What if a woman found out that she was infertile? Is she any less feminine?

"You are married for 15 years and you don't have children?!" I have been hearing this question for so many years now, that it has almost desensitized me. Well...not really. Who am I kidding?! There is a lot of heartbreak that goes into not being able to bear children and it can be a real emotional roller coaster. Coming back to the often asked question - some ask out of curiosity, some just inquisitiveness, some in search of some juicy details; though some ask out of genuine concern. I don't blame them. After all, the Lord did demand of Adam and Eve "Be fruitful and multiply." To procreate is almost a rational consequence of being married.

Why do women have children? Is it for gaining some kind of status in a male dominated society? It is pretty hard to digest that all women are not that enthusiastic about motherhood but just want to satisfy their husband or in-laws. Some just want to experience pregnancy and childbirth. Though for most, it is a fulfillment and a reason for living…almost a biological need. Children are an affirmation of a couple's love for each other and a binding factor. Sadly, in some orthodox families, for a woman to bear a son is a non-negotiable term of her existence.

However, studies show couples that choose not to have children are happier than those who do. Today's young couples are increasingly faced with a question "To breed or not to breed?". The happy couples are the ones who wanted kids and had them or didn't want kids and didn't have them.

Welcome to the modern society where CHOICE, not motherhood is the real key to happiness.

But then, this is not so much a dilemma as compared to those who don't have a choice. Imagine the tedious task of maintaining a life around temperature rises and monthly charts. Whew! Feminine wiles here notwithstanding!

So, is the modern woman not feminine? Women are considered weaker than men and have to seek to overcome obstacles in this world not by bodily strength, but by other means, namely goodness, wisdom and beauty. And being childless or having children has no bearing whatsoever on these feminine qualities.

Every mother knows the temptation of eating up their children's leftovers. Imagine how hard it is for that woman to keep her curves. But even with her rounded middle, no one can take away her gentle and nurturing ways that make her feminine.

While masculinity at the most basic level can be validated only in action, femininity is what is inherent in a woman.

Just enjoy being a woman! Femme Fatale!