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Usually, when we see something, we either try to identify with it or we try to condemn it. For example, if you are told you are arrogant, you either accept it or you try not to be arrogant! You never understand or go beyond arrogance. You can only understand within your frame of reference, what you are familiar with. Because of this, you are caught in a limited view of possibilities.
To really understand, you need to go beyond this limited point-of-view. To do that, you have to stop naming it arrogance, that"s all! There will be no more arrogance. Only by naming it, you start the conflict. That is how you see what IS – by not naming it.