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How Working Women Are Forced To Quit Their Jobs For Marriage And Kids
Every woman goes through a phase in her life when she is bombarded with questions like- 'When are you getting married?,' 'Why don't you find a man and marry?', 'Life is all about marrying, having kids and living happily with them.'
Not from society, but most of the time it is their own family members, neighbours, and friends who put the women in precarious situations. Hardly they know that this might cause stress and depression in that woman as well.
5 Weird Reasons People Give To Convince You To Get Married
Sometimes, due to oppressive circumstances, women are not able to channelise their emotions properly and they end up feeling trapped in a situation and unable to make a decision. There are many women who surrender themselves in front of marital pressure and compromise their careers for the sake of their family members.
Similarly, the story of Vani (name changed) from Patna is no different. After completion of her engineering degree, like many girls, Vani was too pressurised by her parents and relatives to get married. Initially, she paid no heed to them and said she wanted to work as a software developer instead. She said, "A flourishing career is all that I want now. Let me be what I wanted to be."
But, who cares about a woman's opinion, right? Even after she joined as a software developer in a company hoping that her family would finally stop pressurising her for marriage. Situations became worse and eventually after 3 months, she had to quit her job to get married.
It goes without saying that had she been not pressurised for marriage, she would have focused on her career and made something out of it.
Also read: Marriage Is Not Always What It Seems: Inside The Life Of An Indian Couple
Similarly, in another case, a woman called Niti ( name changed) from Koderma, India, got married after her 21st birthday. Like many women who dream of a beautiful relationship and partner, she too was excited about her marriage and it was a happy moment for her. She dreamt of beautiful moments post her marriage, but, things didn't go as planned and only after a year, she was pressurised to have kids.
She
was
told
by
her
mother
and
her
sister-in-law,
"Being
a
mother
would
complete
you
as
a
woman." Niti
was
not
at
all
convinced
as
it
was
too
early
for
her
to
become
a
mother
and
raise
a
child.
Having
spent
2
years
of
her
married
life,
she
keeps
ignoring
what
her
family
members
and
relatives
say.
She
was
not
against
motherhood,
all
she
wanted
was
to
be
mentally
and
financially
prepared
to
welcome
a
kid.
All
she
wanted
was
to
work,
something
she
loved
her
with
all
her
heart.
There was a time when it was mandatory for women to get married after reaching a certain age. But, it is hard for people with a patriarchal mindset to understand that women have other priorities too. They have their own interests and career choices and they love spending 'me-time'. Well, by now we all have understood that self-care is not selfish. Getting married or having kids can vary from woman to woman and a society cannot give these women a specific deadline for making these choices.
Recently, a campaign named 'Timelines' was created by SK-II, a skincare company, to explore life's expectations of four women from four different countries, having a different perspective. The timelines of these women differ from the envisions of their grandmothers, mothers and close friends. The interview was taken by an American journalist and author Katie Couric.
Also read: 11 Amazing Things That Women Can Do Instead Of Thinking About Men
Before
interviewing
and
diving
into
the
conversation
with
these
four
women,
Katie
said,
"What
happens
when
dreams
clash
with
expectations?
We're
all
supposed
to
hit
certain
milestones:
a
degree,
marriage,
a
family."
An award-winning Chinese actress, Chun Xia was one of the four women interviewed by Katie Couric. Chun, who is known for voicing her opinions and talking about empowering other young Chinese women. She recalled how at times, she was questioned by people regarding marriage. "I'm always asked, 'Don't you want to get married? Don't you want to start a family and have kids as you should at your age?' But the truth is I really don't want to at this point. I am not ready yet," she said. She believes happiness can come from different sources as well and it is not restricted to marriage.
While talking to Katie, another woman, Maina (25) said, how people in Japan refer women as 'unsold goods', if they don't get married between the age of 25-30 years. Her mom also said, "I really want her to find the right man and get married, to be seen as marriage material."
Post
interview,
Katie
helped
these
women
and
their
families
to
understand
their
respective
timelines.
The
timelines
represented
the
path
through
which
every
woman
saw
her
life
in
contrast
with
what
their
families
and
relatives
thought
and
envisioned.
"For
each
young
woman,
two
timelines
were
created.
One
represents
the
expectations.
The
other,
their
aspirations," Katie
explained.
"There's
often
a
disconnect
between
dreams
and
expectations.
But
could
seeing
the
difference
leads
to
greater
understanding?"
After seeing and understanding the differences in expectations and aspirations the family members along with the women were able to have a better conversation regarding the marriage and life ahead.
Also read: 9 Common Problems That Indian Women Face Even Today!
There is nothing wrong about being concerned about your daughters or getting them married at age parents feel is 'right', but, one should also take into account the aspirations and expectations of their children, especially daughters.
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