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No! Caring and worrying about your child are not the same thing. But, you can certainly check for yourself whether you care for your kids or end up worrying about them too much. Do you constantly fret about anything and everything that is related to your child? Like whether your child is safe in the school or if they have done their homework properly. The list doesn't end here. At times, you walk with your children to school, tuitions, shops, probably everywhere simply because you are worried about them.
There is a high chance that you are never satisfied with parenting advice that people give and consider your parenting style to be perfect? Even if you know your children can eat food, bathe or dress on their own, you still feel the need to get involved in everything. Well, then you may be a helicopter parent.
Before you scratch your head and make assumptions, scroll down to know who is a helicopter parent and what are the signs of helicopter parenting.
This term resembles the name of a Bollywood movie, Helicopter Eela whose story revolves around the life of an over-protective mother and her son. The mother makes sure to stay too much involved in the life of her son, only to make sure her son is fine and is doing well.
Who Is A Helicopter Parent?
A helicopter parent is the one who pays close attention to the daily activities of their children. He or she is always focused on his/her children and keep hovering on them to help them in doing even the simplest of things. Helicopter parents make sure to complete the homework of their children rather than helping them. Most of the time, they will call their school principals and teachers to know if their children are safe and if they are missing home.
Helicopter parents feel it as their responsibility to stay consistently over-focused on the daily activities, experiences, failure and success of their children.
The reason behind this can be the anxiety that "What if something wrong happens to my child in my absence?"
Signs Of Helicopter Parenting
Sometimes the signs of helicopter parenting are not obvious as at times parents confuse between caring for their children and worrying about them. The below signs will help you to know if you are a helicopter parent or not.
1. They always end up doing their kids' homework
No doubt parents are always ready to help and guide their kids in completing homework and projects. They make sure that their children complete their homework on time but helicopter parents are a bit different. They are often seen to take lead while helping their kids in their homework and tend to complete the homework and projects themselves, which are assigned to their kids.
2. They are always on their toes
Helicopter parents are always on their toes to check if their kids are fine. They will forbid their children from playing in the playground so that the kids don't fall down and skin their knees.
Also, these parents will make sure to visit their children's teachers to know if their children were hit by any of the fellow learners or if they are having any other problems in the school/college.
3. They ignore people's opinion
Helicopter parents tend to ignore what other people say about parenthood and parenting. For them, their own parenting style is the best and therefore, they never experiment or incorporate new methods or ways while raising their kids. They also tend to ignore the opinions of their own children. For example, if the kids say they can go to school/college on their own or can complete the homework, the helicopter parents won't listen to this.
4. They feel there is danger everywhere
When it comes to ensuring the safety of children, parents can no doubt sense danger (if there is any). But for helicopter parents, there is danger everywhere and in everything. Even if their children board the school bus to reach safely, it will not satisfy the helicopter parents and immediately they will start thinking negative such as what if the bus meets with an accident or what if their children fall from their seat.
Not only this, helicopter parents won't allow their kids to play in the ground, thinking what if their kid gets injured in the field.
5. They do not believe in giving personal space to their child
For helicopter parents, giving personal space to their children is an alien concept. In fact, some of them also find it a stupid concept.
To let their children play with their friends or sleep in their own room don't make these parents feel very comfortable. Also, helicopter parents might feel uncomfortable to leave their kids with grandparents or other family members when they go shopping.
6. They will do the chores of their children instead of letting their children do themselves
Parents take care of every small need of their kids and do their daily household chores when children are small. Once children grow up, parents distribute or share responsibilities with their children and train them on how to do certain household chores. But helicopter parents tend to do each and every daily chores of their children such as helping them wear clothes, comb their hair, finish their meal, make their bed, arrange books, using the washroom and much more.
Taking care of your child is not a bad thing and you have full rights to take decisions regarding the welfare of your children. But too much focusing and monitoring every single activity of your children may make them feel suffocated and eventually crave personal space. Therefore, it is better to avoid being a helicopter parent and guide your children from a distance to make them a better decision-maker in their lives