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Indian marriages are said to be quite fascinating. With the family, relatives and friends around, couples tie the knot under a highly decorated venue. The idea of marrying off one's child with huge pomp and vigour, strikes Indian parents from the very beginning. They are always excited to find a suitable partner for their child.
People think the bond between Indian married couples is unbreakable but the inside story speaks something else. Here is the story of Priya from Mumbai, who was married off with Mukul, also from Mumbai.
Priya was working as a school teacher and was happy with her work life. Her parents were searching for a perfect groom. They wanted to marry their daughter to a guy who belonged to their religion and caste.
After one year, they married their daughter to the son of their family friend. The groom seemed perfect to them because of his good looks, handsome salary, and his apartment in Pune.
The marriage was a big Indian fat wedding with beautiful decorations and delicious cuisines. Everything seemed perfect until Priya complained how disturbed she was from her married life.
While talking to Boldsky, Priya said, "Mukul never talks to me. He is always busy in his work and we hardly speak to each other. He hates seeing me talking to my mother over a phone call."
"I want to re-join my job as a school teacher but he says, 'why do you need to work? Am I not giving you enough to survive?'"
When she asked her father to talk to Mukul, she was told, "you need to adjust with your husband."
Priya thought she can't survive like this and therefore, one morning she confronted her husband and tried talking to him. After a heated discussion, Mukul said, "I wanted to live my life as a bachelor and then you were married to me. I never gave my consent to marriage. It was our parents who got us married."
When asked why can't he (Mukul) adjust with Priya, he replied, "Priya is a great girl. But I don't find myself connected to her. I feel as if she is a stranger living with me. I tried hard but I am unable to accept her as my life partner."
Priya says, "We live as 'two strangers living under one roof'. We speak only when there is a need for. We never go out together because neither of us feel connected. Although he fulfils my needs."
They tried to resolve the issue and give their marriage a fresh start but then they were constantly asked by their families to have a child. Both of them were not willing to do this as they knew what they were going through. Still they planned a child under societal and parental pressure. After a year, they were blessed with a baby boy.
Now both of them are raising their son but are still strangers to each other. Mukul says, "Priya is the mother of my son and therefore, she will get that respect from me but if she is not happy with the marriage she can walk out of it."
On the other hand Priya says, "I am in this marriage only for my son. His father loves him and often plays with him. Though we hardly talk, I am happy that my child is getting the required love and affection."
Both Mukul and Priya are compelled to continue their married life because of two reasons.
The first is that their families are against their decision to separate. They feel that the society will not consider them to be a good family if their children get separated. And the second reason is they have a child who is one year old and they feel it is better to stay as a family for the betterment of their child.
Both of them were married in the hope that they would stay together happily. But their married life is now more or less a compromise.
Hence, here is a note to Indian parents - please do not force your children to continue in an unhappy marriage just because the society will question your upbringing. All that matters is the happiness of your children.
The names and identifying details have been changed to maintain the privacy of the individuals.