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Why Newlywed Couples Fight With Each Other

It takes so much effort to plan a perfect marriage. However, to make a marriage last, one needs to put in more effort than that. The initial years of the marriage can be tough. The reason is two different people come together in a relationship and transition into a life full of responsibilities and some new challenges. Though you might be in your honeymoon phase, the upcoming years might bring challenges and issues in your married life.

Becky Whetstone, the marriage and family therapist said to Huffpost [1] , ''Almost every person imagines they'll be a great spouse one day, but once the rings are on and the wedding cake turns stale, reality sets in - marriage just isn't as easy as we thought.''

The therapist shared some issues that can turn into fights among the newlyweds. Even if a couple is sweet and deeply in love with each other, these issues can make them fight. The issues are as follows:

1. Unfamiliarity To One's Culture And Families

There is no denying the fact that dealing in a complete new environment is difficult. Since people come from an environment which is totally different from their in-laws, they might face difficulties in the beginning.

It is quite obvious for a person to be unfamiliar with the traditions and customs of the in-laws and this might raise problems for that person. When these problems grow bigger, they create misunderstanding between the couple which might lead to a fight with each other.

2. The Never-Ending Household Chores

Almost every newlywed have this issue in their married life. They feel like their partners are not lending a hand in the daily household chores. Household chores are never easy and require a good amount of energy. When done alone, household chores might disappoint the person.

Moreover, it has been seen that one person does the work and the other person doesn't appreciate the effort of the first person. This annoys and hurts the one who has been doing the household chores throughout the day. When the disappointed person confronts his/her partner, the later thinks, the former is trying to dominate which again leads to a fight between the couple.

According to the relationship expert, Dr Judith Wright, "It may look like dirty socks on the floor, but you're feeling like the other person isn't appreciating your contributions." [2] She further adds, "this is often the way power-and-control struggles play out in a relationship: trying to get dominance."

3. Facing Financial Issues

No one can stop a fight when one person spends wisely and the other one is impulsive. When one works hard to bring money and the other has no limit for spending the money, the differences will surely raise their heads. Financial issues are said to be one of the biggest issues in the early days of marriage. It is better to not overspend the money and have a budget.

4. Having A Different Sexpectation

Though physical intimacy is not always the cause for fights between the married couples, there some days when couples fight for lack of physical intimacy.

According to Judith, ''a partner associates sex with a time to be held, cuddled, and feel affection. If they're not getting that affection during the day, too, it places an unhealthy level of expectations on a couple's sex life.'' She further added, "You're trying to meet too many needs with sex. Ideally, you're feeling already close and sex is your way to express that instead of using that to get close."

Moreover, sometimes, people don't express their expectations for physical intimacy and want their partners to understand on their own. This can lead to misunderstandings. Eventually, couples fight with each other.

5. Absence Of 'Me Time'

After getting married there is no 'ME'. This is because people tend to take on the responsibilities that come along. This is actually a good thing. They care and look out for the family rather than caring for themselves. But this can be annoying for people as they can't have their 'Me Time'. They can't do what they have been doing before marriage.

According to Melody li, a specialist on relationships, ''There is a common misconception that one should care for the marriage first, even at the expense of one's wellbeing.'' [3]

She further adds, ''it's easier to be a loving, kind, and an attentive spouse when you've had some time for yourself. Whether it's a spin class with your favourite instructor, a mani-pedi, or even an hour of uninterrupted reading time while your partner watches the kids, remember that being a couple is about two whole individuals coming together.'' If these don't happen, people tend to get annoyed and fight with their partners.

6. Unable To Communicate Properly

At times, people face some issues and they tend to keep the things to themselves. They do so for avoiding fights and disputes in their relationship. But when these feelings are not conveyed properly, a huge fight seems to be on its way. This can also lead to unnecessary assumptions which can eventually result in bitter fights.

7. Right Time To Have Kids

A time comes when one partner is willing to have children and the other one is not ready to have children. For a while, negotiation can work between the couple but eventually, things can get worse. Couples might fight often and this can affect their relationship to a great extent. Parenting is not easy and therefore, one needs to be well-prepared to have kids.

8. The Never-Ending Blame-Game

Humans commit mistakes and it is quite obvious. But not accepting the mistakes and blaming others is a bad thing. Sometimes people criticise others if something wrong happens. This might hurt the other person. Similar thing happens in a marriage. When people criticise their partners for every wrong happening, this makes their relationship fragile. People often take out their frustration on their partners. This issue can result in a huge fight as nobody enjoys being criticised by their partners.

Fights are a part of every relationship. One needs to resolve the issues and choose love to move on with life. After all, marriage is all about loving and caring for your better half through the thick and thin.

View Article References
  1. [1] [1] Borresen, K. (2019 June 06). 7 Common Fights Couples Have During The First Year Of Marriage. Retrieved from https://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/most-common-couple-fights-newlyweds_l_5d07c198e4b01c6757e7d3a4 on 9 Aug 2019
  2. [2] [2] Storey, K. (2016, Feb 3). 15 Dumb Things You're Doing That Hurt Your Marriage. Retrieved from https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/g3212/common-fights-marriage/ on 9 Aug 2019
  3. [3] [3] Finn, E. (2017, Sept 27). 3 Things You're Bound to Fight About as Newlyweds. Retrieved from https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/620223/things-newlyweds-fight-about on 9 Aug 2019

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