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What Is Benching? Here's All You Need To Know About This New Dating Term

Meeting someone who is a potential partner can be a wonderful thing. But when it comes to modern dating and relationships, things aren't that easy. With all the modern dating trends one may find it a bit difficult to find a suitable and genuine partner. While there is a plethora of modern dating trends, none of them seem enough to keep problems at bay. You may have heard of ghosting, caspering, submarining, breadcrumbing, situationship and many more, benching comes as a trend that may create uncertainty in the relationship.

Benching is practice when you date someone even when you're uncertain about that person. The person may seem good for you but then you may wonder what if you come across someone better than that person. This usually happens when a person wants to be with a partner who seems perfect and genuine.

In order to understand benching in a better way, let us take the example. Suppose A wants to find a suitable partner and comes across B who is genuinely interested in A. Now A may date B while keeping B as a standby. Meanwhile, A may go on to find other potential partners. So, we can say that A has is benching B.

This usually happens when the person looking for a potential partner doesn't trust anyone easily. He/she may often wonder what if they get someone better than the one they are with. Due to this, they stop themselves from committing to the one they are dating. As soon as they are asked for commitment, these people may make vague excuses or would deviate from the topic. They do so only to ensure that they do not end up settling down with a not-so-good person.

Even though you may not realise, if someone is benching you, there could be times when you go through it. If you are wondering whether someone is benching you, then you could go through these tell-tale signs.


1. The Person Always Asks Every Detail About You

Though this may not seem to be problematic to you, your partner may try to find out everything about you to check if you could be a good partner. The person may try to know every detail in the first few meetings. You may find him/her asking too many questions before making the next move. In fact, he/she may seem to be too obsessed with every detail that you share. He/she may do so because he/she is benching and comparing you to someone else.


2. You Often Catch Your Partner Checking Out Others

One of the other obvious reasons for benching is that your partner often checks out other people. Even when you are with him/her, you'll catch your partner checking out other people. When asked, he/she will make some lame excuses. This could be because your partner has kept you as a "maybe potential partner".


3. The Person Often Gives You Carrot And Stick Behaviour

There could be times when your partner may take things in an on-and-off way. At times, you may find your partner behaving quite sweet and loving while at other times, he/she may be least interested in you. As soon as you start feeling blessed to have such a partner, he/she may give you a cold shoulder. In other words, the chemistry between you and your partner could be waning and waxing.


4. Your Partner Often Makes Vague Plans

At times your partner may make plans to hang out together and would ask you to come soon. But then he/she may become elusive. The person may express an interest in going out with you on a date and then would seem to be zoned out or would make excuses to cancel the plan. Not only this, but he/she would pretend to get an urgent call or meeting.


5. You Find Your Partner Inconsistent

Is your partner inconsistent when it comes to the relationship? For example, he/she may promise to meet you in the evening but won't show up or would often change his/her perception about a potential partner. Not only this, but your partner would at first say that you are a wonderful person and later he/she would regret being with you.


6. The Person Often Ignores You

Being ignored by your partner out of nowhere could also be a sign of benching. Even though your partner is online, he/she may not reply to your messages or wouldn't care to contact at the first place, Even if you ask, you may not get a convincing answer.

Story first published: Wednesday, April 7, 2021, 16:16 [IST]
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