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Not taking any responsibility for something going wrong and blaming your partner entirely for it is easy and that is what some of us do. But, shouldn't we tame our mind first, before pointing fingers at others?
Let us get one thing straight that no one has ever won after playing the blame game and if this is what you and your partner have been doing for a long time, soon your relationship will hit a dead end.
One of the worst things about a relationship is when a discussion turns into a blame game. This is the point where both individuals try to prove themselves right. But if you look deeply into this matter, both of them can be right and wrong at the same time as nobody is perfect and everybody has some flaws.
Also, there is nothing called right or wrong and it is all about perspectives. There are several reasons why the blame game is completely irrational and it can sabotage any relationship. Here is how you can avoid it.
1. Don't Ignore The Problem, Recognise It
To solve the problem, you need to recognise it first. There can be times when your partner is hurt because of your behaviour, something which you are too not aware of. In that situation like this, if you are able to sense that your partner is sad or upset, then there is no wise decision to ignore the problem. It will be better if you talk about the problem and try to find a solution. This way you will be able to avoid the blame game in the relationship.
2. Avoid Plotting Something Against Your Partner, Everyone Is Different
If you are piling up the arguments, only to prove that you are right and your partner is the most annoying and disturbing person living on this planet, then this may cause a huge problem in your relationship. Adding fuel to the arguments may break your relationship. You don't have to point fingers at your partner, every time he or she does any mistake. Instead, you can let your partner know what made you upset. Avoid seeing your partner as the most careless, annoying and problematic person.
3. Sweep Your Ego Under The Carpet
Love and ego cannot co-exist in a relationship. If you have committed a mistake, have the courage to accept it and don't let your ego come in between. Acknowledging your mistakes and learning from them will only help you both to improve your bonding and become less judgemental about each other.
4. Stop Building Unrealistic Expectations
Okay, so what can hurt you? Your own expectations. The sooner you accept you and your partner are two different people who are in love with each other the better it will be for you. Instead of expecting your partner behave your way, accept them for who they are as an individual. Also, you can help him or her to become the best version of themselves.
5. Don’t Emotionally Blackmail Your Partner
Even in your anger, avoid saying things that you may regret later for doing this. If you know that your partner is emotionally vulnerable then it is cruel to threaten them that you will walk out of the relationship if he/she doesn't do what you say. Forgive them if they have committed any mistake. Because holding grudges is simply wasting time and also proves to be dreadful for all relationships.
6. Shouting On Someone Has Never Solved A Problem
If you think yelling at the top of your voice will make you win the argument then you are wrong. Therefore, first, try to calm down your emotions and then think of talking about the problem with your partner.
Also, try replacing the complaining tone with a calm and convincing tone. Such as instead of saying, 'why you did this', try saying 'this is not how things are done'. Make sure to convey the problems in an effective manner. Choose your words wisely is what we are saying!
7. Develop A Problem-Solving Attitude
Unless you are ready to solve the conflicts with a problem-solving approach, you won't be able to put an end to the blame game. In case, you do not agree with what your partner said or did, then you can ask him or her to reconsider it. Meanwhile, you can also analyse your thoughts and acknowledge the reason behind your disagreement. After this, both of you can find a common ground for solving the problem and making things acceptable for both of you.
8. Be A Good Listener
One of the major reasons behind, why couples get into petty fights is not being a good listener. It is advisable to stay quiet and listen when your partner is saying something. Once he or she has completed saying whatever they wanted to share with you, you can put your opinions forward and express your thoughts too. You don't have to always agree with your partner on everything but it is not good to judge them as well.
Understand them and make your choices accordingly. Also, while you are speaking, make sure you are allowing your partner to express their emotions and thoughts.
9. Cultivate Forgiveness And Gratitude
This is one of the most important things to avoid the blame game in any relationship. It is never a good thing to hold on grudges and ignore your partner's apologies. If your partner is seeking an apology, then it is better to grant forgiveness. Also, expressing your gratitude to your partner will help you in making your relationship stronger.
A relationship is not about who is right or wrong. It is about how beautifully you resolve the conflicts and differences in your relationship.