International Asexuality Day (IAD): 8 Ways Of Accepting, Supporting An Asexual Partner

on April 6, 2021

Every year, International Asexuality Day (IAD) is celebrated on April 6. IAD is a coordinated worldwide campaign promoting the ace umbrella, including demisexual, grey-asexual and other ace identities.

In relationships, there comes a time where couples want to explore and enjoy their physical intimacy. They may look forward to taking their relationship to a next level by connecting physically to each other. But what if you are in a relationship with an asexual person? Would you step forward and accept him/her?

Well, often people overlook and misunderstand asexuality. For those who don't know, an asexual is a person who feels little to no sexual attraction towards anyone. They may develop some romantic feelings for someone but they may not feel sexually attracted to them. In case, you have found out that your partner is asexual or he/she has expressed the same to you, then being a genuine lover and partner, won't it be good to support your partner. If you are wondering how you can support and accept your partner, then you can do this by educating your mind and heart. In order to help you with this, we are here with some tips that you may find helpful.

1. Discuss About It With Your Partner

So if you already feel that your partner is asexual or he/she has told you about the same, the first thing that you need to do is talk with your partner. You may not know this, but your partner could be already upset or disappointed for his/her asexuality. At the same time, you too may feel annoyed and irritated for not being able to get your needs and desires fulfilled. In such a case, talking with your partner and finding out a common ground is quite necessary. Also, you'll be able to know what asexuality is all about.

2. Listen To What Your Partner Has To Say

It is obvious that your partner would feel like expressing his/her emotions, thoughts and feelings. Your partner would definitely want someone trustworthy to confine in and this is where you can be a supportive partner. Allow your partner to express his/her thoughts and emotions without interrupting him/her. This way your partner would feel comfortable in talking about his/her sexual orientation.

3. Let Your Partner Know That You Still Care

One of the next things that you need to do is let your partner know that you still care for your partner. For this, you need to avoid saying or doing things that would hurt your partner. Instead of saying, ‘why don't feel sexually attracted to me' you can say, ‘how does your asexaulity make you feel for me'. Or you can say ‘I understand how you feel and therefore, I assure you that we won't do anything that would hurt your feelings or make you feel uncomfortable'. Let your partner know that you are proud of having such an honest and straightforward partner. After all, true love isn't about having physical intimacy.

4. Develop Emotional Intimacy

So what if you and your partner do not have any physical intimacy? You can always develop emotional intimacy and enjoy the same with your partner. For those who don't know, emotional intimacy is a bond wherein both the partners feel loved, trusted and secure. It involves understanding your partner's emotions and genuinely respecting them. In order to be emotionally intimate, you can do or say things that make both of you feel secure, connected and complete.

5. Enjoy Some Non-Sexual Activities

It is true that at times you won't be able to enjoy sexual activities. But do you know that kissing, cuddling and hugging each other can too make you feel physically intimate and connected? These things can allow you to connect physically with your partner without getting into the sexual act. You should try to indulge in kissing and doing foreplay, if possible. While doing so, you can ask your partner if he/she feels comfortable. As a result, both of you will come closer.

6. Allow Your Partner To Express His/Her Desires

Just because your partner is asexual and has little to no sexual attraction, doesn't mean your partner has no feelings or emotions. Not paying heed to what your partner feels or wants can affect your relationship in an adverse manner. As you want your partner to know what and how you are feeling, you should do the same for your partner. You can ask your partner what he/she wants or what his/her desires are. This way both of you will be able to give the best in your relationship.

7. Don’t Pressurise Your Partner

There can be times when you may feel like getting into the sexual act with your partner. But then your partner may not feel the same. You need to understand that there are some asexual people who may feel comfortable in some of the physical activities but then pressurising your partner for indulging in doing what you want can affect your relationship in an adverse manner. Your partner may feel that you do not care about his/her sentiments. As a result, he/she may not consider you as a supportive and caring partner any longer.

8. Support Your Partner Publicly As Well

If your partner wants you to support him/her publicly then you should definitely try doing the same. If you love your partner genuinely and are happy to have him/her in your life, then you should extend your emotional and mental support to your partner. Let your partner know that know matter what you are always with him/her. This way your partner would not only feel blessed to have you but also both of you will come closer than before.

It won't be an easy thing to be in a relationship where one partner is asexual while the other isn't. But when there's true love, mutual respect and transparency then nothing seems too difficult. After all, love is not just about satisfying physical needs, it is also about supporting and showing love to each other.