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Why You Should Not Compare Your Child?

By Devika
Never Compare Your Child: कभी न करें अपने बच्चों की तुलना, हो सकता है उन्हें Depression | Boldsky

The saying that every child is unique in his or her own way is much more than just a saying. It is a thumb rule that every parent must follow if they wish to raise a confident and happy child. Keeping the self-esteem of the child in mind, every parent must remember this.

Comparing your child with other kids, irrespective of how closely the other child might be related to you or your kid, is definitely a big "No".

Plenty of studies have revealed how comparing your child to other kids can hinder their mental development and affect their self-esteem, which is likely to have an effect for the entire duration of the child's life.

  • How Parents Tend To End Up Comparing Kids To Others?
  • Teach Your Kids To Be Grounded
  • Reasons Why You Should Not Compare Your Child

How Parents Tend To End Up Comparing Kids To Others?

The words such as "Look at that kid, he/she is so much better than you", or "why can't you behave like him/her" are quite common, especially when the kids are naughty and as parents, we are unable to control our anger or frustration. However, what effect these words could have on the little mind is something that we should strongly consider.

Comparison is never good - not even for the adults. Children find it extremely hard to deal with negative criticism. It is all the more painful for a child to hear from his or her parent that the other kid is much better than him/her at something.

As parents or guardians, it is important to let the kids know what is right and wrong. It is also essential to point out their mistakes, but doing that by comparing them to peers is definitely not going to go down well with the kid.

Teach Your Kids To Be Grounded

Your kid is surrounded by competition almost everywhere, at school, at his/her playgroup, and even at parks where he/she goes for his/her random play. The best we can do for them is to let them be away from the "competition phase" at least at home. This will surely make the kids remain grounded.

Kids should be taught how they can overcome their weaknesses and turn better than themselves rather than better than their counterparts. Children develop an inferiority complex if you keep annoying them with comparison comments as to how another child is better than him or her.

Reasons Why You Should Not Compare Your Child

It is obvious that each and every parent wants the best for their child. But comparison would only demoralize them, an effect that most probably would last a lifetime. Below are some of the top reasons why you should not compare your child to the other kids.

• Comparison slowly leads to self-doubt. When we are told that we cannot excel at a particular thing because someone else is better, slowly over time, we begin doubting our own skills. The same applies for your child's mind as well.

• If you tend to compare your kid with his or her friend, neighbour's kid or with someone in his/her school, it is only going to instill jealousy in him/her. Jealousy could turn into hatred and aggression in the long run.

• Comparison implants negativity in the child's mind. He or she will no longer be able to take up new challenges and tasks with positivity. It is important to raise children who have a positive attitude towards life and not the one who dreads doing new things due to the fear of failing and then being compared to his or her peers.

• One of the most important things to realize when comparing your child to others is that it not just makes you kid low on confidence but also affects your relationship with your child in a negative manner. Do you want your child to start despising you? Well, comparing him or her with other kids will only make him/her do that. Comparison makes the child feel that the parent/guardian is not on his or her side.

• If you tend to compare your child every now and then, it is very clear that they are going to develop into nervous adults. From being happy kids and growing up into satisfied adults, the focus of the child, when compared constantly, shifts towards doing things in order to please the parent (or guardian). The child also begins to feel that he or she is not meeting your expectations ever.

It is understood that parenting is the most difficult task. Moreover, parenting does not come with a rule book or a manual. Hence, there cannot be a definition for an "ideal parent". No parent will intentionally make their child nervous or jealous.

Children look up to their parents to identify good and bad qualities. It is we who, as parents, set the future path for our little ones. Therefore, it is essential that we put our best foot forward and allow our kids to be raised in a positive and encouraging environment. We need to always tell them how special and important they really are.

Story first published: Friday, June 15, 2018, 10:00 [IST]
Read more about: child