To manage anger seems not to be an achievable end to many of us. To root out anger, one has to understand one's temper first, without which, the numerous efforts that we undertake to control our temper would only be futile. Let us look into understanding one's own temper to manage anger.
The Root Cause Of Anger
- Anger is basically an emotion, rather an outburst of emotion.
- Osho says that anger is a repressed emotion which shows up suddenly. He explains the cause of anger as a repressed emotion which surfaces from the unconscious part of the mind. Whatever is suppressed hides in the unconscious and what is accepted by an individual remains conscious to him.
- As long as an individual is unconscious, one cannot manage anger.
- “Anger comes to us when our desires or expectations are disturbed, defeated. Anger is nothing but desire of attachments, expectations or hope is obstructed," says Chinmayananda.
- Anger is a common emotion to all, however what each individual does with it is the question. While a person who is not alert becomes a victim of it, a person who is aware channelises it positively.
- By being conscious of one's emotions, one gets aware of his temper shooting up. Once a person is aware, the temper loses its power and subsides naturally.
- To be aware is to look at your thoughts. Catch hold of your thoughts while they begin to disperse into an outburst.
- Once when a person asked Ramana Maharshi as to how he could manage his anger, the Maharshi jocularly replied, “Oh! Is that so, then get angry with that anger; it will be all right". The statement simply means to be aware. To get angry with anger can only happen when one is aware of it even when it is rising.
- Osho says, “Anger is there, take note of it and just watch how it arises, how it spreads like a mushroom, how it covers you like a blinding force; how it starts making decisions for you, how you start acting according to it. Just watch, and you will be surprised that it cannot do anything. As it arises, it will not even go to the point of becoming a mushroom because it can become a mushroom only by nourishment. By watching it you have cut the very nourishment. It will arise as a crippled anger which cannot stand up even, and soon it will disperse like mist. It has no reality except your identification"
- On another occasion, Ramana Maharshi asked another devotee to analyse from where the anger springs up from, the source. This is also being aware and alive.
- When the emotion shoots up, the first impulse is to release it. If it needs expression, it need not have to be expressed on others. A quick walk, or jogging or any other physical activity would help reduce anger .
- Pen down your thoughts when you are in a fit of rage. This helps one to go through the negative pattern s of thoughts and the utter stupidity underlying it.
- Anger is another expression of fear. Having understood this delve deep and find out the reason for the anger. Reflection of the cause of anger helps to sort out things that can trigger it.
- Breathe in and out consciously when angry. This helps reduce anger.
- Allow time for yourself everyday and reflect on the happenings. Try to analyse and undo then and there any negative feelings gathered.
- Allot a few minutes for meditation, for anger and peace are two opposing aspects. It will have to retreat in the long run to transform you.
- Ward off any demotivating thoughts such as “I will not be able to control my temper" etc. This day can still be the day to begin to manage anger and look for transformation.