They say, "marriages are made in heaven"; but, at times, both the spouses involved do not take enough efforts to contribute individually and collectively to make their marriage a success and that is when "all hell breaks loose".
Initially, when a person falls in love with someone, the first thought that comes to one's mind is, "Come what may, I will never leave his/her side".
But, after saying "I do" to a lifelong commitment, one realises that a marriage calls for much more "work" than a romantic relationship and, at certain extreme situations, the whole idea seems to be useless.
The problem is not "marriage" itself, rather it lies in the way people handle themselves and their relationships, and their ideas or opinions about this sacred liaison of two romantic souls.
An emotional bond should be developed between the married partners, so as to help them understand, trust and, most importantly, love each other better.
Marriage is all about "Us" but the moment "Me" becomes
important, it is that very moment it drifts to rocky waters.
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Marriage is an institution which is supposed to bring two people together, but if they do not understand the underlying concept, then they might soon find themselves in a fish-bone-stuck-in-throat kind of a situation.
Following points will help you understand some of the possible reasons why marriages fail so easily in recent times.
1) Physical Attraction Versus Chemistry:
Well, there are some elements of science all around us and also in our relationships. Nowadays, in most cases, "physical attraction" outweighs "emotional connection" and, therefore, the "chemistry" between a married pair fizzles out.
2) Failure To Accept Difference Of Opinion And Beliefs:
A husband and wife, at times, fail to accept the fact that they belong to different family backgrounds, and thus having different opinions, beliefs, views, thoughts, customs and traditions, etc, is inevitable. They follow a "my way or the highway" kind of a policy, thereby falling into more problems.
3) Lack Of Communication And Trust:
Spouses, some times, do not communicate their needs, thoughts, opinions, feelings, likes, dislikes, aspirations, etc, to each other, thinking that their partner "should know" automatically what they feel without actually having to let them know about the same. Lack of communication leads to lack of trust and makes the problem severe.
4) Social Traditions:
In recent times, most women are working and so, they do not want to take additional responsibilities of a mother, cook, sweeper, cleaner, etc. But, society, at times, reminds women of certain age-old traditions and customs specific to their gender and expects them to follow it.
5) Parental Advice:
Psychologists say that the real problem arises when parents from both sides shoulder the responsibility to solve issues between a married couple. Due to the traditional upbringing, even couples seek advice from their parents in order to resolve their issues. This may cause an additional set of problems, when the family gets involved.
Problems arise when couples give more importance to their own needs, likes and beliefs over that of their spouses. A selfish attitude can never work if you want a stronger bond with your partner.
Impatience leads to fights and tiffs and, often, no spouse wants to admit or apologise to his/her own mistakes, thus aggravating the problem. If you are not patient enough in the relationship, it could worsen your marriage vows.
8) Lack Of Pre-marital Counselling:
According to psychologists, both couples and their parents should seek help from marriage counsellors, so as to help them clearly understand all of their respective roles before taking the plunge. Unfortunately, not many follow this suggestion and so problems arise.