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Things You Should Try Before A Divorce

By Padmapreetham Mahalingam

All marriages do have good and bad times. Not everyone gets into marriage with the intention that it will in all probability end in divorce. It looks like the hope for endless love never lasts for long and awfully nowadays more than half of the marriages end up in divorce. Marital problems, emotional derails, frustration and poor communication can wreck even the best intentions of married life. Things would be so great when you get married. However many people have always agreed that marriages do change over time. Lack of communication is the reason for disruption in marriage. Without communicating clearly towards each other be it feelings or concerns, marriage can turn out to be mechanical. Marriage is never perfect. It has its ups and downs. Not all marriages have the 50/50 proposition and at times it can stand at the 90/10 pitch. Maintaining a marriage and relationship requires a lot of hard work every day. Many couples preparing or contemplating divorce don’t realise the idea of being alone and the teething troubles it brings.

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Divorce can never be painless as it is one of life’s events that absolutely need a post-mortem to know what really went wrong in your relationship. There are a few things you must do before you act on any thoughts you have regarding divorce or when preparing for divorce. Below are a few things you need to do before divorce.

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Consult a marriage counsellor
The important thing to do before a divorce is to talk to a marriage counsellor or any other professional who can be of help to you to save your marriage. If it is not for marriage counselling at least do it for yourself. If you feel there isn’t any hope to save your marriage, divorce counselling can help you to discover what had gone wrong between you and your spouse, how to cope and move on. Counselling is a reason to see if the marriage can be saved, to build a support system and it can also help you to know everything about yourself.

Know about family finances
It is imperative to know about your family finances. These are the most crucial things you require to know before a divorce. Try to go through the copies of investment accounts, bank statements, tax returns and credit card statements. Also make sure to keep track of what your mortgage balance is. Most importantly, remember that before preparing for divorce, try to know about your family finances including the list of assets and liabilities. Make sure to do your homework before the divorce occurs.

Focus on custody of your children
Planning for the custody of your children is a thing you need to do before a divorce. If you have children, keep track of how much time you can spend with your children and how much time your mate can spend with them. Try to give it some thought and decide whether there should be shared or joint custody. Nowadays most cases end up with shared or joint custody.

Prepare a budget
You need to consider your financial needs for the future. It is an important thing to do before divorce. Remember after divorce your family gets separated into two and it is important to know how to move forward economically. Try to find answer for questions like whether your job is secure or your spouse’s.

Talk to an attorney
A better thing to do before contemplating divorce is finding out whether you should hire an attorney or not. Before preparing and discussing with your spouse about divorce, you need to be well advised and given all the information. Make sure to find an attorney who is clued-up on family law. Discover the cost of divorce with your attorney. Do not move out of your martial home without discussing with your attorney first as this may result in your inability to collect your alimony.

These are a few things you need to do before divorce.

Story first published: Saturday, May 24, 2014, 15:03 [IST]
Read more about: relationship advice