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Do You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?

If you ask any person a direct question, 'Do you keep secrets from your partner?', then you will see most people hesitate to answer this. This is because it is hard to answer this question upfront. If you ask people 'Should you keep secrets from your partner?', they will probably say 'no'. But then is it always possible to tell the absolute truth and nothing but the truth in a relationship?

We all know that we should not keep secrets from our partner. But we fumble when we have to answer the question, 'Do you keep secrets from your partner?'. In a practical situation, it is not possible to tell all your secrets to your partner. Sometimes, these 'secrets', when hidden, prevent your relationship from falling apart. Secrets in a marriage are more of a survival strategy than a cunningly devised deception.

THE BEST KEPT SECRETS OF INDIAN WOMEN

The question really should be what kind of secrets can you keep from your partner? And the answer to this question would be ones that involve no guilt. For example, if you tell your partner that you think his mother is a cunning woman, he is going to freak out. But you can secretly hold that opinion without being guilty. But if you have had a fling in office and you do not tell your spouse, then you are being unfaithful.

Here are some guilt-free secrets that most of us keep from our partners. And that is why we find it hard to answer the question, 'Do you keep secrets from your partner?'

How much does your new dress cost?

How much does your new dress cost?

Any wife's first impulse to this question would be to lie. This is because men just do not understand the cost of fashion.

What did you have for lunch?

What did you have for lunch?

Actually, you went to a new place near office with your friends and had a four-coarse meal. But you will be tempted to say that you just ordered a pizza or had a meal at your regular lunch eatery. Especially, if it is end of the month and you are short on cash.

My parents are coming over for the weekend. Do you mind?

My parents are coming over for the weekend. Do you mind?

The question is actually inviting you to lie. Your spouse has already invited his parents and that is why it does not make sense to ask just how pissed off you are about it.

Did you pay the bills on time?

Did you pay the bills on time?

Last time you did not pay the bills on time and your spouse gave you hell for it. So, technically you are not keeping a secret, you are merely avoiding a fight.

So, did you bitch about men with your mom?

So, did you bitch about men with your mom?

When faced with a question like this, it would be fair to say that lying is not a temptation? If you really had to tell your partner what you and your mom talked about, he would file for divorce. So, you are just saving your marriage by keeping secrets.

Do you want to have pizza?

Do you want to have pizza?

You know your partner loves pizza but you have had pasta (which is your favourite) for the last 3 weekends. Now, you had pizza for lunch and you really don't feel like it. However, you don't want to disappoint your partner, so you smile and say, 'sure'.

So what did you do for the weekend?

So what did you do for the weekend?

Your partner has been away all weekend on office work. You have spent the weekend drinking like a fish and partying with your friends. It is not that you did not miss your partner but if you tell the truth, your partner will never believe it.

How much spare cash do you have?

How much spare cash do you have?

The word 'spare' cash is highly subjective. You might have a lot of cash in your bank account but none of that is 'spare'. Is it wrong to financially cheat on your partner just a wee bit?

Story first published: Thursday, June 5, 2014, 17:47 [IST]