Heated discussion with your man can never be fun but they are bound to transpire. Most women who are in a serious relationship with their boyfriend would have experienced major conflict even if it is just six months into their relationship.
And when there are disputes you start to get worried that the loving bond you've have endeavored to create in your relationship will one way or another begin to erode.
Rules For Fighting Fair In A Relationship
Some couples do assume that conflict can crumple a relationship and so they prefer to avoid it. However, it is not true. As according to Michael Batshaw, who has authored ‘51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged’ says that engaging in conflict isn't going to end the relationship but it's all about avoiding the conflict.
So does a fight help you to love more? According to psychologist Xavier Amander, author of ‘I'm Right, You’re wrong, Now what?’ fighting is an essential ingredient needed for building confidence and intimacy.
It may sound buckled, but disagreement can provide an opportunity for couples to grow closer if it is dealt constructively than turning into huge blowouts.
5 Ways To Deal With A Love-Hate Relationship
So how would you know that conflicts don’t ruin your prized relationship but instead it can help you grow more? Let’s find out if fight in relationship can help you to love more.
Get Your Negative Thoughts Out
One of the things you need to understand is that it’s okay to fight in relationships as it clears the air. Something could be bothering you for quite some time and you are looking for ways to get the feeling and the thoughts out. In such cases, you must try to get your negative thoughts out.
When you try to bottle things up, it tends to eat at you and over the long run it can even make you passive aggressive towards your guy. Moreover, this can never be a good idea if you are in a serious relationship. So sometimes, fight in relationship can help you to love more. However, fighting can become a problem if seems to happening more and more often.
Solve The Problem
Most of the time, your partner is not intentionally trying to put you down or hurt you during an argument. Understand that getting hurt happens to be a spin-off of that action. So, will a fight help you to love more? Everyone wants some excitement and drama in their life. Without fight there would be no flavor in a relationship.
It is always better to stir the pot, add some superfluous heat and spice so that it becomes hot enough to enjoy. So, arguments can spice things up in your boring relationship. Remember, arguing can be unpleasant. Keep in your mind that your objective is to solve the problem rather than to see who wins the clash.
If Emotions Go Overboard Take A Break
Again it is highly crucial to stay calm while you are addressing the conflict. Yet realistically you also need to understand that someone would definitely become upset, frustrated or irritated when you are talking about the conflict. So, if you find yourself getting more emotional, take a break to placate and calm down. In addition, this way you can save and improve your relationship.
Side To Side Conversations
According to the author of “5 Simple steps to Take Your Marriage from good to great” has revealed that men are much more likely to be able to communicate effectively and clearly when discussing about a tricky topic such as when they are doing an activity like walking or hiking. Besides it always better to have side to side conversation as it is a good way to control the heat of the moment.
So, how does fighting help you love more? Having precincts about what is acceptable behavior with no yelling or no cursing and screaming can recover a bad fight in your relationship and help you to love more. Instead of seeing disagreements as a peril in your relationship, try to see it as an opportunity and indication of growth for building a stronger bond.
Share You Feelings
Conflict is the best way to get your feeling across to your partner. So, try to work on your listening skills. One of the benefits of fighting in a relationship is that it is better to communicate and share your feelings with each other than keeping it to yourself. Consider the frame of mind of your partner instead of bombarding him or her with your verbal or taunting remarks. Try to assess his mood before going ahead.
However, it doesn't mean it works all the time as sometimes your partner does not want to listen to you. This might be because they may not understand how serious you are. Fighting in your relationship can help you to love more if your are fully listening to your partner without building the case in the back of your head on how your partner is always wrong. Sometimes fight can help you to love more when both are seeking harmony and affection in your relationship.
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Story first published: Sunday, June 21, 2015, 21:03 [IST]