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7 Tips To Deal With Betrayal

By Anirudh Narayanan

Any relationship is based on the thinly spread layer of trust. With each new experience, good or bad, the layer grows in size. Memories are created together and that in turn deepen the layers.

Imagine one day you discover that your partner has lied to you. You look at the layers but you cannot find that single, thin layer which is actually the lie. You doubt the whole layer, feeling every layer was but just another lie!

You know it is quite absurd but you don't know how to go about it. Betrayal feels somewhat like that. You ask yourself million times, "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?".

But the answers are just too complicated. But the important thing to understand here is that betrayal isn't the end of the world, as there are ways to deal with betrayal in a relationship.

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Betrayal makes a person extremely sensitive and you're at an all time low. You try to make sense of things that went wrong. You end up questioning every memory just because of one lie. Your self-esteem takes a beating and you feel people sympathising with you, even if they aren't. Recovering from a betrayal isn't easy. But you can choose to rise above the pain, accept the fact that it wasn't your mistake and move on.

Read on as we educate you on how to deal with betrayal with the following tips.

Let it go, as it could happen to anyone

Let it go, as it could happen to anyone

Accept the fact that cheating, betrayals, lies and unfaithfulness are pretty common nowadays. To be fair, it has been around since forever! To deal with betrayal in a relationship, you have to accept things the way they are, not how you imagine them to be. Stop trying to figure out why it happened to you. You wouldn't find an answer and it will only hurt you further.

Let the urge for revenge die

Let the urge for revenge die

It is understandable to want revenge for what your partner did to you. But you have to remember the fact that, even though your partner betrayed your trust, you never stopped loving him/her. The moral high ground seems foolish, especially when you're dealing with betrayal in a marriage. But showing your partner that you're clearly the better person matters, at least to your psyche.

Forgiveness is the way forward

Forgiveness is the way forward

Forgiving your partner is an important part of getting over betrayal. Forgiveness, not revenge, is the way forward. It can be extremely difficult but a necessary step for your well-being. Just to make it clear, forgive but don't forget. Make no mistake of going back to the same person. Move on.

Regain your self-esteem

Regain your self-esteem

A serious blow can be dealt to your self-esteem by betrayal. It will often tank and you will be left with very little self-worth. An easy way to deal with betrayal in a relationship is to understand the fact that it had nothing to do with you. You're the victim here. Focus on your capabilities and surround yourself with people who can make you feel good about yourself. Even pretending to be self-confident helps in regaining it.

Do things that you love doing

Do things that you love doing

Now would a good time to go on that long planned trip! Taking a holiday or cooking or painting, anything that sets your mind free would help you immensely. If you wanna deal with betrayal in a relationship effectively, then do the things that you love doing.

Say no to anger and yes to patience

Say no to anger and yes to patience

Your anger though justified is not going to do you much good. Hence, it's wise to get rid of those hateful feelings and instead practise being patient. Betrayals are never easy, be it a marriage or a relationship, but you can get over it by practising to be patient.

Learn to love and trust again

Learn to love and trust again

Love is a virtue and you shouldn't be disheartened forever, just because it didn't work out the first time. You need to get out there and love again. After all, didn't your ex-partner move ahead? When he can, you can. Next time, take your time to know a person and do not hold your past experiences as a scale of measure for comparisons. Wipe the slate clean and begin a new chapter, after all why would you punish your future partners for what your ex did?

Read more about: love marriage