How To Deal When Boyfriend's Best Friend Is His Ex

Love means different things for each one of us. For some, it makes the world go round. For others, it makes the lonely road worthwhile. It is also painful for quite a few. Well, to surmise it in layman terms, love is an amalgamation of various emotions; some good and some not so good.

What could make it complicated can range from a simple misunderstanding to a spat about the superior Star Wars movie. So, your boyfriend's ex, who also happens to be your guy's best friend, can throw things off balance.

5 Signs Your Boyfriend Wants To Go Back To His Ex

There can be a plethora of reasons for your boyfriend to be best friends with his ex. They might have been best friends before they started dating each other. Or maybe they understand each other so well that they figured out they don't belong to each other! Sounds strange but the world is huge and possibilities are numerous.

It does hurt to play second fiddle at times but you have to remember that you are the "chosen one". There's a lot of difference between "playing the cool woman" and actually "being cool". Make sure that your boyfriend is cool with you being friends with your ex as well.

So, instead of thinking, "Why does my boyfriend still talk to his ex girlfriend?", and such trivialities, concentrate on how you can deal with it and be awesome together.

Communicate

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships." - Henry Winkler
The above quote holds very true for relationships. Lack of communication makes you assume things and that in turn corrodes the relationship. Speak to your boyfriend about him being best friend with his ex. After all, it is only fair that he knows how you feel.

Time

"No matter how 'busy' a person is, if they really care, they will always find time for you." - Unknown
Time is the most valuable thing you could possibly give to a person. Make memories together whenever you spend time together. It's important to understand that it's a busy world out there. Your boyfriend will probably want to spend time with his ex-girlfriend, now best friend, but you also need to make time for each other.

Comparisons

"Comparison is the death of joy." - Mark Twain
Mark Twain was so right! Comparisons mostly do no good. Human psychology is a weird little thing. We are known to seek out partners who mostly resemble each other in appearance or character traits. So, stop comparing yourself with his ex or trying to find an answer as to why your boyfriend has a girl as a best friend. You might find something you never really wanted to know.

Respect

"Respect is what we owe; love is what we give." - Philip James Bailey
Respect your boyfriend and his choices. It might be anything, ranging from the clothes he wears, to the friends he has. He wants to be a friend with his ex, so be it. But remember that respect, as so many other human emotions, is a two-way street.

Insecurities

"There is no such thing as perfect security, only varying levels of insecurity." - Salman Rushdie
As we suggested earlier, communicate. But what do you communicate? Speak about the things that are bothering you. Remember not to be clingy though. It is true that guys get irritated easily and if you keep expressing your insecurities, he is bound to avoid you.

Trust

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." - William Shakespeare
Like in any relationship, establish trust. Trust him to do the right thing. Even if you have a tight schedule and your boyfriend spends more time with his ex, there is nothing to be worried about. Let him know that you're cool with it. If anything, he will end up loving you even more.

Try being Friends:

What if you could actually establish a bond with your boyfriend's ex-cum-best friend? It's not as difficult or weird as you think it is. You might eventually end up spending more time with your boyfriend and his best friend. Stop thinking of yourself as the third wheel and accept the fact that your boyfriend has a girl best friend and she just happens to be his ex.

Soul mates:

"I used to believe in one true soul mate, but not anymore. I believe you can have a few." - Paul Walker
Don't be caught up with the idea that since you are the love of his life, you're also supposed to be his soul mate. A soul mate can even be your friend. And there is no compulsion that you've to have just a single soul mate. They can be more than one and it doesn't have to be your partner.