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Does Your 'Past' Affect Your Relationship?

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Published: Monday, January 16, 2012, 16:27 [IST]

Does Your Past Affect Your Relationship?

The past in your relationship has no place so digging it up is an experience in self immolation. A old saying of native wisdom says, 'when you dig for worms you find snakes'. That is the way things go when you try to ferret out details about your lovers ex partners. More often than not you find details that are displeasing and in the end you lose the purpose of your initial quest which anyway was nothing more than idle curiosity.

If your girlfriend or boyfriend is jealous by nature and pesters you about your past relationship then you need to be dealing with their insecurity wisely. And if you are doing the same then take stock of the dangers you are heading towards.

Why You Should Not Bring The 'Past' In Your Relationship?

1. The very reason they are ex partners is because you have broken up with them. Now if you are no longer together that means something didn't click. So obviously the other person will not have a favourable opinion of you. Then what is the point of going on a soul searching trip back to how things really where and why they went wrong?

2. Concentrate on the word 'past' in past relationship. When it is past tense then it is over. If you rake it up every time you have a problem then you are keeping it alive in the present.

3. Some jealous boyfriends and girlfriends have this complaint that their partner has not totally forgotten their ex partners. Well sure enough it is something to worry about but if you yourself punish them by bring up the past aren't you denying them a chance to forget. You might say it out of hurt but for your partner it is a very painful reminder of things that went wrong.

4. Most people start bringing up the past only when they have a problem with their partners. All is well when you two are getting along fine and madly in love. But as the magic wears off and you start seeing clearly, it is the best tool that they have to use against you. Where logic fails, this divine holly stake can be stuck into your heart to gain temporary victory.

5. Some people bring up sensitive issues about your ex partners when need an excuse to dump you. You have to read the signs of such sadistic behavior early. Object the first few times and then give your partner an ultimatum. If he or she has built up this whole drama for this climax, he or she will leave after making a scene. If not, they will realise your worth and never mention it for the fear of losing you.

6. Dealing with insecurity from your partner is not easy but you have establish that trust . Use both emotional and physical contact for it to sink in.

Use these relationship tips to stop the past relationship from haunting your present one.

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