Will You Change For A Man?

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Some men expect their women to change for them but gone are the days a woman is expected to change herself. Educated and independent women have their own approach towards life.

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Also, after developing an outlook towards life and getting educated, nobody would want to transform themselves for the sake of someone putting aside their real self.

Also, healthy relationships never demand changing each other. They demand tolerating the differences between two people.

So, if people around you have convinced that you must change yourself to suit your future husband, then think again. If your man says it is a red shirt when it is black in colour, you would not agree with him, right?

It is good to be flexible with others. But flexibility doesn't mean submissiveness. Also, choosing a person for whom you don't need to change much would be a wise step.

Also Read: Why Women Scratch In Bed

When you fall in love, in the initial stages you would feel like totally adjusting yourself for the sake of a man but that isn't a practical idea because once the initial attraction fades a bit, you would regret the decision for a life time.

Now, look at the following examples to know what kind of a person you are.

Example #1

You bought a dress and came home. He didn't like it. What would you do? Would you return it to buy something that suits his taste or do you still keep it to wear it for the ladies night out? Respecting his decision is fine, but you can still keep your favourite dress with you instead of returning it because it was your choice.

Example #2

He expresses his opinion on which political party should win the elections. Deep down, you know that his choice of politician is a corrupt one. Would you sit and argue with him to convince him or simply change your opinion? In fact, you don't need to do either. Its a waste of time to talk about politicians. So, you silently listen and skip the topic without agreeing with his points nor convincing him about your views.

Example #3

Your friend invites you for a party. Your man says no. Would you still go there ignoring what your man said or would you sacrifice your enjoyment by staying at home? Well, there could be a middle way out. You neither need to sacrifice your joys nor need to simply ignore your man's words. Do what keeps you joyful without compromising the quality time you give your man. If he still feels ignored, then the problem is with him, not you!

Example #4

He doesn't like you to pursue a career. You can't stay at home idle even for a single moment. What would you do? Would you sacrifice your career for him or would you tell him how much you will miss your work? Well, sacrifices won't work in the long run. They may leave you frustrated unless you are totally okay leaving your career. So, think again if he forces you to leave your career.

Example #5

He is angry. He stops talking to you after a quarrel. What would you do? Would you apologise though you know its not your mistake? Or would you also stop talking to him and sulk? Well, such things could waste valuable time. The best thing is to simply inform him that you are willing to put things aside and be normal again. But again, you don't need to do more than that. If he becomes normal and starts talking again, its good. Otherwise, the problem is with him.

Example #6

He constantly criticises your eating habits. Would you quickly try to change yourself though you know that your eating habits are healthy? Or would you explain him why you don't need to change your eating habits?

Example #7

He forces you to mingle with all his relatives. Would you do so though you need private space? Or would you explain why an introvert like you should be left alone for some time? Well, just saying 'hi' to others and showing some hospitality is fine, but do you really need to give fake smiles when your inner being is opposing? So, ask yourself whether a relationship needs drastic changes. Relationships need acceptance, right?

Read more about: love, romance
Story first published: Friday, May 27, 2016, 8:40 [IST]
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