Can Mothers & Daughters Ever Be Friends?

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Updated: Thursday, July 12, 2012, 17:29 [IST]

All daughters would admit that mother's love is the most unselfish and unconditional love in the world. If you ask a girl who is close to their heart they would definitely name their mother. Now let us come to the real question; can mothers and daughters ever become friends? Well most of you would have serious doubts.

Mother daughter relationships are often not as pleasant as father daughter relationships. You may love your daughter more than anyone else but can you really be the friend she needs? Let us find out what prevents mothers from being friends with daughters.

Can Mothers & Daughters Ever Be Friends?

Why Mothers And Daughters Can't Be Friends?

Her Favourite Parent: Among parents, one has to be the disciplinarian and the other, friend. More often than not, mothers have to be the strict parent for their girls because fathers tend to be a wee bit indulgent towards their daughters. The idea of being friends with mothers doesn't occur to daughters.

The Legend Of Electra: Unfortunately the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud had predicted the doom of mother daughter relationship long back. According to him, daughters have an intrinsic jealously towards their mothers. This is because a daughter feels that she has to share her fathers affection with her mother. When this jealousy goes beyond normal proportions, the child suffers from Electra complex.

In Her Shoes: As a mother, you always see too much of yourself in your daughter. Every parent has this problem; they see themselves in the child of the same gender. If your daughter turns out to be totally different from you, then you feel dissappointed. The pressure of expectations burdens the mother daughter relationship.

Mother's Instinct: When a friend starts looking out for you a lot more than necessary, then you say that she is 'mothering' you. The word 'mothering' here is used in with a negative connotation. Mothers are serious do-gooders; they think it is their duty and birth right to give you good advise. Mothers can be friends with daughters only if they get natural 'mothering' instinct.

When Mom Becomes Too Cool: As a daughter grows up to be a teenager and then a woman, a mother starts getting conscious about her own age. Age is something that women are very sensitive about. When your daughter turns sixteen, you suddenly start feeling out of step with her. To cope up, you try to revamp yourself by visiting the salon more often, getting a cool haircut or getting a new wardrobe. Your daughter may or may not like this makeover. A 16-year-old has many pressures that you can't imagine so be patient with her.

As a mother you can be friends with your daughter if you try to understand the above obstacles and try to overcome them with appropriate parenting styles. Take up the challenge to become your daughter's favourite parent and tell us what happens!

Topics: parenting, motherhood
 
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Story first published:  Thursday, July 12, 2012, 17:21 [IST]
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