When we lose a loved one, the pain is unfathomable. It can even lead to an emotional stress, sometimes even lifelong - in case one shared too close a relation with the departed soul.
A news of a death, even if it is expected creates a wide range of emotional reaction in us. There is in fact no real order of the grieving process that we face as a result of death.
We may still be in a state of denial or disbelief, confusion, shock and even trauma, despair and sometimes also guilt. It is really a chaotic state of mind in us when he first learn about a death.
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These feelings that take over in the event of a death are common and you yourself might not be much prepared for the intensity of the emotional disorder that follows.
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There could also be a sense of helplessness, but it is normal and you would be able to overcome it with time.
While Mourning A Death:
It is difficult to cope with the loss of a loved one. Mourning and grieving are general ways of expressing the loss of someone you were closely attached to. While mourning can go on personally for a long period of time, grieving can be more physical, emotional and psychological.
Crying, for instance, is a physical expression that follows a tragedy like death, while depression is more of a psychological expression. It is very important for us to go with the flow of these expressions and not try to suppress or deny them, since if you do that, you can face severe mental illness in the days to come.
Physical Symptoms That Occur Because Of Grief:
Physical symptoms are seen in many people in times of grief. For example, loss of appetite, sleep disorders, loss of energy, stomach pain, etc., can be natural occurrences. Excessive grieving can make you fall sick - both physically and emotionally.
Reactions To Loss:
As mentioned earlier, loss of a close one can cause a severe emotional stress in us and the reactions generally include anxiety, chronic fatigue, depression and even suicidal tendencies. Obsession with the mortal remains of the dead can also be a common reaction. Reactions to a death are also influenced by the nature of relationship you've had with the deceased - be it your parents, spouse, child, sibling, friend, etc.
How To Deal With A Personal Loss:
We need to take care of our mental health while coping with the death of a loved one or else it might take a toll on us.
Here are some ways to cope with the pain caused by a personal loss:
1. Divert Your Attention: In times of grieving, try to think less about the person you lost - the memories you shared. Though easier said than done, it is the most effective way of overcoming the grief. Meet friends, join support groups and platforms where you find people undergoing similar experiences.
2. Express Your Feeling Instead Of Personalising The Experience: It will make you lighter and help you manage the grieving phase better.
3. Take Care Of Your Own Health: Do not become dependent on alcohol or medicines to get rid of the depression. Eat and drink healthy and have proper rest. Consult your family physician regularly and if required, take help of a psychiatrist for counselling.
4. Accept That Life Has To Change: Accept life as it comes and start living in the present and not past.
5. Do Not Overstress: Do not overstress yourself when you are going through a traumatic phase, either personally or professionally. Take a break. Go to a place of your choice to regather yourself.
Comforting Others At The Time Of Grief:
You may find somebody else grieving over a personal loss. You can step in to help them assure themselves. You can do so by:
1. Sharing the sorrow and by encouraging them to express their feelings.
2. Being choosy about words. Don't offer an artificial comfort by saying "what had to happen, happened" or "I can understand your pain". Personal pains are not easy to understand and instead of giving such comfort, it is better to help a person in grief realistically.
3. Giving the bereaved person a considerable time to overcome the pain and grief. Remember, recovering from an emotional pain takes time.